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There's a fine line.
She’s happier than ever, but I almost wish the lie didn’t work so well.
Colleague told me he was going out to lunch today. He came back with a store-bought sandwich an hour later
How to promote unfailing loyalty from your employees
After seeing Trump say that he did not fire James Comey because of the Russia investigation on Twitter this morning
Can't pay your bills and enjoy disrespectng others do ya?
Starbucks racial-bias training in a nutshell
So you have any hand sanitizer?
Some of my coworkers really need to learn this...
Some of us don't enjoy being criminals.
Cops being bros
Took me 50 years but finally think I'm adulting...
Good hardworking bosses can be hard to find
Attempted peroxide
She isn’t abusive or anything, she’s just unbearable
Can anyone relate?
My friend is an elementary school teacher. She texted me this question last night.
Sorry but my life is worth 2 of yours.
Walmart just emailed our promo codes to customers to save $10 off $35. Here’s me doing something that the cheapskates at Walmart will fire me for.
triple, venti, soy, heavy cream, fat free, extra, extra, at 120 degrees, etc.
Let’s bring back a timeless classic.
How I feel living in Canada right now
Shoot the messenger but snobs and rednecks should be able to govern their states, cities and counties their way.
Today I found out we have motion sensor lights
It was worth joining
Worth it
If only everyone had 20/40 vision
Just lick 'em bro
Guess I'll be fapping to a better looking version of my ex wife after the movie.
Does it say April or August? What year is that? Does it smell OK?
But my cigarette count down from 20 to 4 tho..
As a small business owner, I think I'm a great boss
This is worse than just firing you on the spot!
FTFY, Kermit. Or maybe i'm just antisocial? 4403 rollover minutes and counting.
You never know...
If you lease a vehicle, get gap insurance
Got into an argument with my Italian uncle about sauce vs gravy
Bad kid joke.
144 MrNedSchneebly I'll always upvote a good potoo bird meme
117 surachinen god, i hate when people do this. i'll be sitting there on the train, headphones in, trying to tune out the din of my surroundings. Audible noise is bad enough, but tolerable. They don't have headphones to block out your inane thoughts. No, person beside me, i don't want to hear you ponder about whether your wife loves you just because you don't listen to her thoughts. No, guy across from me, i didn't get dressed in the dark, i was hurried this morning, but thanks for your concern. and then there's this asshole. JUST. FUCKING. SCREAMING. He's obviously aware that people can hear him, but noooooo, he just has to be the center of attention. keep your damned thoughts to a whisper you dick.
20 AusCan531 Pffft, as if we don't know what you're about to do before you do it.
7 ranoutofbacon I'm always screaming in my head.
7 halfasked1 I actually insult the people I think might be psychic on my heas, hoping it'll get a rise out of them to more solidly identify them. Really vulgar stuff, too. I always apologize though afterwards. Still waiting to get my ass beat as proof of ESP.
6 bigbuzz55 Has it worked yet?
6 d2graphix Telepaths?
5 FatStonedCat I hear LSD is fun
4 Milk__duds ~~Potoo was banned a while back wasn't it?~~ Nvm I was thinking of the puffin
7 Ihateualll Sometimes I insult people in my head to see if they react so I can tell if they are telepathic.
5 iambluest What's strange about this?
2 Rhymes_with_ike Damn I haven't seen this meme in a long time. Fucking welcome back.
1 GOD_OF_HAVOC_ Saiki will get you
1 PresidentGSO The Potoo is a real life Pokémon as far as I’m concerned.
1 fragment137 This is a brilliant idea. I’m going to try this XD
1 cowboyfromhell324 One of my favorite memes. Insanity wolf too. Neither are very popular
1 Moonj64 No need to scream, just think "Is that person's fly really down?" and then watch for the person who looks at their crotch. Note that this method is ineffective in public bathrooms, where not only are you unlikely to see someone unexpectedly look at their crotch, but also the fact that their fly could actually be down.
1 NOT_ZOGNOID If I ever need a good laugh, I just imagine the inspiration of this username screaming and let the good times roll.
1 Parthon The only problem is that all voices in your head are the same volume, even if you are whispering or shouting.
1 NigelMustard Here’s to more Pootoo!
1 Spaghetti_Barbarian I start speaking gibberish in a sinister raise-the-dark-lord chant style. I might be paranoid but I'm fairly certain I'm going to accidentally summon something Lovecraftian.
1 mors_videt Sometimes I do that out loud because I can’t stop myself.
1 SomeThingsOdd All internal dialogue is the same "volume."
-1 peppsineo U cant scream in ur head?