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I was holding her panties in my hand when she walked in.
It's the little things that keep me going in the dark times
Note to self, no one cares.
Heaven help me if they actually learn how to hire competent people.
Think globally, fuck locally
Might as well be a change jar since everyone has a card. Hmm, maybe I should install a card swipe
After being away for two happy years I feel everyone needs to see this.
my mother in law is a real winner
Playing hangman with my daughter, I was always going to looz
Is there something lower than FriendZone? Cuz that's where I just landed....
Usually it's deserved, but sometimes there are just mad people downvoting
I had to dry off with 3 clean shirts....
Every time at the drive-thru.
After reading that the Trump family is the first family in modern presidential history without a pet in the White House
"You know nothing Jon Snow!"
This is why road rage is a thing . . .
JUST LET ME FORGET, DAMMIT.
She then proceeded to jerk the poor beast by his collar so hard he fell over and peed himself right there in fear.
What everyone in the media will be asking once the JFK files are released.
after I heard Trump gave himself a 10 on his response to the crisis in Puerto Rico
Not naming names but it rhymes with starfucks
I bought a scale today and put it in my bathroom.
It's fast food, not full service dining...I'd rather tip the cooks.
Oh my God people, it's fast food. It's not that hard to decide what you want while you're waiting in line
It's all a shady business
TV shows really are in their prime these days
Fiancee hit me with this one on road trip.
MRW I'm teased for liking candy corn
Sometimes, my brain does not work.
Sorry, I didn't know...
When I asked my fiance why she's nibbling on my arm...
At least they were clean for him..?
Certain subreddits can provide companies with free feedback on their products, all they have to do is pay attention.
Better to not let them pile up in the first place but, this makes washing, drying, and putting them away much easier.
To the Diaper Engineers out there.
C'mon, elotes and Takis aren't that expensive