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After crapping all night and taking Imodium...
On this 4/20, let smoking pot be something you do not who you are.
Honey that's why you need to get grades. Otherwise you'll end up like that man over there.
She’s happier than ever, but I almost wish the lie didn’t work so well.
I just don't think the bill would be worth it
I mean sometimes there's good stuff there.
Saw this, today.
There's a fine line.
Just use your finger
As opposed to when you tune and the song is ending
I don't like change
Just realized that I'm a foul bachelor
I don't know what went through my head, I guess I wasn't awake yet.
Some of us don't enjoy being criminals.
I think some of those guys who voted "yes", are just hoping to see bare breastfeeding titties...
Hurts but she’s extremely toxic and I’m glad to finally be rid of her.
So they decided to allow babies on the floor in the US Senate...
Whenever I go on vacation to the beach and get to relax.
Colleague told me he was going out to lunch today. He came back with a store-bought sandwich an hour later
I think this is lost on many people...
My friend's boyfriend is out of town for the weekend...
Happy Autism Awareness Month!
When You're sitting in Your bunker and see r/trees leaking into default subs.
How to promote unfailing loyalty from your employees
Cleaning toilets since ‘90
He always complains they don't have Pink Floyd
7 Years!
Money management sucks! but....
This heart attack moment...
We havent heard from her in years, she's constantly in jail, won't talk to her kids, and just uses my retired father for money.
Awkward Freudian slip I had once
"Saw this today" FTFY
Blind in one eye and the dr found another tumour in my brain.
She isn’t abusive or anything, she’s just unbearable
After seeing Trump say that he did not fire James Comey because of the Russia investigation on Twitter this morning
Don't sleep on the new Sleep
Starbucks racial-bias training in a nutshell
I would still do the right thing and pay my taxes of course
What to do, what to do?
Good hardworking bosses can be hard to find
6366 funkboxing That's great advice, but I can't see anyone who is inclined to give their kid a ridiculous name actually following through on that.
2904 toeofcamell I’m thinking of naming my baby Skinny Caramel Two Pumps
1130 Exitbuddy1 Yeah you should look at people’s faces when they yell out Braxlee at Starbucks
635 LostinKaniksu Airwrecka sounds nice
698 SarcasticCarebear The names Arya and Sansa are going to be so common I'd be afraid of getting someone else's order.
536 CrimsonSmear Reminds me of the advice to get a drawing of a tattoo you want and hang it on the wall of your room for a year. If you still like the idea after a year, go for it.
1193 willow0281 "Princess Consuela Banana Hammock" your latte is ready.
544 Keirii55 As a person with a terribly "unique" name, thank you. I wish adults would take into consideration how a unique name affects their kids. My driver's license doesn't have my name spelled right because the characters in my name aren't supported in the system. I almost always have an hour or more in waiting rooms when i need to use my insurance because they need special confirmations since my ID doesn't match my insurance card. On top of that it's hard to find a job with a weird name. I use a fake name for anything that doesn't require my actual identification...
281 Joyjmb Friend taught 3rd grade. Siblings came thru her class one by one... Sir Love Sweet Candy Denim (aaaand) Sexaline She pleaded for a nickname for the last one. They refused.
247 ErroneousFunk My mom gave me a traditionally male name (which wouldn't be so unusual, except I'm a woman). Her reasoning was "It's a man's world, and I didn't want you to have any disadvantages." Okay, thanks mom. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's definitely something in the back of my mind on a day-to-day basis. It's caused hundreds of little (and sometimes big) issues and awkward moments in my life, and I have to think about it basically _every time_ I say my name. If I imagine myself being named "Kate" or "Sarah" it actually kind of feels like a burden being lifted off of my shoulders. On the other hand, I'm not a "Kate" or "Sarah," and I'm really kind of attached to the name I've got. I dunno. My name is _me_, but I also wish my mom had tried the coffee test before I got so attached to it.
165 Okichah >Lord Vader your latte. We good to go.
331 nighthawk_md Spelled "Imagine" as in John Lennon. Pronounced "emma-jean". -Sigh-
261 romansixx I named my 3 month old Bruce. I got tons of looks and "Really?" from Nurses. Apparently that's a weird name now. *Cough say that to batman, hulk, and John McClane Cough*
72 Waterstealer knew a girl named Forever. last name Young. she was cool. she owned it.
256 Yitram My family's criterion was "Would we feel comfortable having an individual with that name perform open heart surgery on us?"
1065 I_Dont_Check_PMs Don't try to mock my snowflakes Braydynn and Mckennslyieigh.
118 Darklordofbunnies I've been proposing a "Scrabble Rule": your kid's name cannot exceed 36 points in Scrabble, and you can't use more than two 8+ point letters.