My mom taught me this when I was a wee lad: the girl should be surprised as to how/when you propose, and not that you are proposing.
You have to know the girl your proposing to. Some would like that. Some would hate that.
While I agree it’s cringy, doing it at someone else’s wedding is even worse. I get that that’s a subset of “in public,” but it’s the worst possible subset.
It depends entirely on the person. Some girls like/expect to be the center of attention, and if the man knows(not hopes) well enough in advance that she wants to marry him and she will be saying yes then it may be exactly what she wants.
I still can't fathom why some people think that a proposal should be a complete suprise. If you haven't even discussed whether you both want to get married before you propose, what other compatibility issues have you not discussed before asking to spend the rest of your life with someone?
Yeah it definitely depends. I got engaged three weeks ago. We had been talking about it for a while. Boyfriend and I went one Saturday together, looked at rings, went to have dinner and discuss, then went back and bought it together. Was actually really fun shopping together and I got to pick out an engagement ring I am in love with. We each chipped in half for the engagement ring and then he paid for my wedding band and I paid for his. I just don’t get this whole “the man has to spend $5,000 on an engagement ring and then surprise the person he is asking!!” I mean what the heck. We are making the mutual decision to spend our lives together... shouldn’t we both get a say in how that is physically represented by wearing a ring?
Or you know... people can do what they wish... If someone is bold enough to propose in public then they have to be prepared to be shot down.
When we first started dating my thengf now fiancée said she would say no if i proposed in front of a crowd
Hey OP just because you got shot down does not mean it will be bad for everyone else.
It only works for couples who:
1. WANT a public display
2. Have already privately agreed to get married, whether or not a ring was given.
Sounds like an opinion to me and we all know what opinions are like.
It worked out great for me. On the anniversary of our first date, I took my girlfriend out to the same restaurant and we left engaged. It was awesome!
It forces the other party into a very public decision. There are factors that could be at play that you won't know about until you are in private, such as them not wanting you to look foolish. You want them to say yes because they want it, not because they feel obligated.
Putting a huge amount of public pressure on someone expecting a fairytale outcome is unfair and definitely won’t sit right in the stomach.
That's more of an opinion than good advice. I believe it is more of different strokes for different folks. Some people will love it and some will hate it. If you are proposing you should know the person well enough to make that decision.
100% agree. you shouldn't feel pressured into saying yes when they happen to do it in front of a large group of people
source: it happened to me at an anime convention...I broke it off with him shortly after.