Score
Title
635
/r/AdviceAnimals rules: Please read before submitting or commenting
20737
I wish companies would just fuck off with that shit.
7043
Great article In the New York Times about monkeys understanding the value of currency
2591
My kitchen is looking very nice today.
807
GG Canadian Neighbour is getting homemade cookies tonight.
36924
Listen...I'm really sorry
23346
I'm looking at you centurylink internet...
943
Maybe he's just ahead of the curve.
195
My day can't get much worse either
301
It's The Little Things
614
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
173
My favorite bartender!
123
Gotta love ski bums. Needless to say, I politely declined.
89
My company fucked up so bad hiring this guy- he has no idea what he's doing
340
BF talking about his grandfather – a BEEkeeper who raises BEES
51
Recoup your losses
24
Wrong lever, my ass
87
I had been looking forward to this snack and movie for about a week. They still tasted fine.
125
So satisfying
1669
Hey Jeff Sessions - shut up about marijuana already. You're not going to win this one.
15
TIL Most colleges have the ability to do this
34382
Trump is spending Martin Luther King Jr. Day (a day that he and every president since 1994 have designated as a “day of service”) golfing for the 94th time during his presidency instead of doing acts of community service and civic work like past presidents
82
You’ve saved my hide a few times now!
18
People tend to forget all logic when it comes to selling their old stuff
21
Do you not know how to set aside time for a morning routine?
17
Just got home, girlfriend is gone, locked myself in the bedroom to jerk off
22
After hearing the results of Trump’s physical exam...
41
Suddenly occurred to me...
10946
Brags About How They Don't Have a TV
533
You cut me deep, automod
13
I mean really
26
I wish companies would really fuck off with this shit.
7
So long Apple Music and Prime HBO
29
As an adult man living in the south, enjoying our annual snow dusting with freezing hands...
18
When I have no idea why my transmission is making that "GrrrKhKhKhKh" sound
89
I almost had it this time.
30
Most people call her Cass anyway, but I always made fun of her for it myself too. I guess I'm a jerk.
12
The second half of Star Trek: Discovery’s first season has been surprisingly good now that they’ve fully embraced what people loved in the original series
188
It's as good as the person who assembled it.
39
How little this wasn't in the news cycle made me realize the distressing new normal.
2334
My coffee struggle is real.
3724 Wyatt1313 "Let's go to the bedroom" "Well ok, but that's a weird fucking place to keep your coffee maker."
967 grandiloquented You gotta tell her you don't drink coffe and then walk away
787 kingeryck I was out with a girl shopping and she wanted to look at underwear. I'm like ok I'll just go look at dude's stuff..... I was like 19 and naive and still uncomfortable with that section of the store.
285 Lugey81 I remember my mate was on a date many years ago, a girl invited him in for a coffee. He said no thanks, I don't like coffee
118 Skrap93 I can’t drink coffee late at night. It keeps me up. ~George Costanza.
475 maybe_Im_a_dog "I like your glasses" .... "I'm sorry, they're not for sale"
49 notaknowngiverofucks This was me when I lost my virginity. I was playing video games in the middle of the night with this girl. She kept interrupting the game to kiss me, climb on top of me, all that stuff, but I didn’t think it was leading to anything more so I just kept playing. Then she said: “let’s go to your bedroom” and I replied “why? There’s literally only a bed in there. The video games and stuff are out here. “ It took like 30 more minutes of convincing from her but we finally went to my bedroom (I was thinking “wtf, why does she want to see my bed?”) and she started taking off clothes. That’s when I think I finally figured out what was going on.
90 keenDean People pay more for *extra virgin* olive oil. But I describe myself that way and suddenly it's a bad thing.
145 osirisX607 That's actually, probably, your key to success. You came across as genuine and sincere. When she pushed forward you most likely put out a signal that backs my previous statement. Props for not panicking in the situation. Well done sir. Well done.