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I’m just too old
This is why I don't hang out with couples.
The ladies bathroom at work. 18 out the 30 stalls aren’t even useable. To all the disgusting fucks out there
This shouldn't be a controversial statement..
Well, that backfired...
Watching MILF porn when you're 40 and you're like
Don’t forget the unnecessarily complex password
Seeing this a lot in college kids recently
Apparently it was not a two way street
After hearing the crowd at CPAC agree with Trump that the first year of his presidency was the greatest in the nation's history
After watching a spa automatically add 20% to my wife’s bill for gratuity...
This gun control discussion is just on the cusp of tackling the real issue
When my gf tells me she prefers communication through body language over verbal language
Apparently these things are the only way to cook now.
Only a little weird
All I could think of in this gun debate
After seeing a 14-year-old Florida shooting survivor call out Melania Trump for not doing anything while Donald Trump Jr. cyberbullied her
Hypocrisy at its finest
I was never as into the role-playing as she was, but we had fun together. This morning was almost frightening.
Thinking about seeing Black Panther.
The sheriff got 18 calls about Nikolas Cruz's violence, threats and guns. 18. Fucking. Calls.
Listening to a podcast when I suddenly realize something
With all these video games in the theaters
Stop. The life you save may be your own.
I'm trying to poop in peace here, dude.
First time time new car buyer
I am a master of conversation
If only laughs paid the bills
After a close call with a dog today I have some words for those shop online.
Ever since I heard this idea mentioned I can't get the comparison out of my mind.
My fiance, talking about her mental health and tidiness.
Rick Gates pleads guilty to lying and conspiracy against the United States
Why arm and train teachers when the real solution is much easier?
I'm less likely to OD with regular blood work too. I know I am not cool.
Guess I’ll have to find a new car wash again
A question for the Florida sheriff's deputy who stayed outside the high school while 17 people were gunned down
Fuck NBCSports. Fuck their exclusive rights to the Olympics in the ass.
I made tacos, my father-in-law is American but has lived abroad for most of past 40 yrs so has limited exposure to Mexican cuisine
Literally just happened
Double the pun
[I'm always impressed how well Google handles stuff like this.](
To be honest... I couldn’t remember either.