I met them as an already married couple and everything seemed fine until she went into labor at my house. It was her second child so she knew it was early labor and decided to rest on our couch while we hung out. We were going to watch her older child when she went to the hospital anyway and our house is 30 minutes closer to the hospital, so it made sense for the three of them to hang around our house until "go time." That's when my husband and I started noticing her husband's strange behavior.
He was a very charming guy and a very good father to his son, but he started making fun of his wife during contractions. He would roll his eyes and tell her to shut up if she even made the slightest groan. He joked that she was a pussy and was overreacting. The whole situation got so awkward that my husband insisted he go home to get their hospital bags, just to give the poor woman a break from her crappy husband.
A few months after the birth of her second child, he hit his wife with his car while she physically tried to block him from leaving during an argument. He disappeared for days and didn't come home until she proved to him that she hadn't gone to the hospital or contacted the police. Thus began systematic abuse that continued for two more years and she hid from me like an expert. He would hurt her and then threaten to withhold money for groceries if she said anything to anyone.
I knew he was a dick and I knew she often needed me to pick her up to get food from food pantries because "he was bad with money," but I had no idea he was hurting her. She finally left him after he threw her through a window while she was eight months pregnant with their third child.
The story doesn't end there. After the divorce, he and his friend started making child pornography. It started by giving meth to teens and then filming them having sex. Eventually, they were molesting his daughters, ages 18 months and 3, while taking video. When the older daughter turned 4, she told her mom what was happening and the shit hit the fan. Now he's in jail for a looooong time.
He had a full-on, toddler-level temper tantrum twice at a group game night. Once because during a trivia question he couldn't remember the planets in the solar system. Then, in the same night, he got pissy playing Uno, threw his cards down and stormed out. We all kind of looked at each other and at our friend. That was when we knew he was.. 'off.' My friends and I were all in our mid-20's and he was over 30, so it was definitely not acceptable behavior.
A couple weeks later was my friend's birthday, so we all went out for the night and ended up at our neighborhood bar. He threw another temper tantrum (I think it was over scoring for darts or something equally ridiculous...), stormed out and peeled away in his car, leaving us with no ride home. This was pre-Uber/Lyft and none of us wanted to spend the money on a taxi, so we sobered up on the ~two mile walk back to my friend's house.
Thankfully...she broke up with him not long after. She is now with a wonderful guy who not only knows the planets of the solar system, but also treats her a lot better.
He tried to feel me up at her birthday party.
I tried to tell her, but she took his side.
We're no longer friends.
When she went off on us for arranging a camp site at another friend's wedding (they got married on a 20 acre farm, and the reception was on-site) instead of agreeing to split a hotel room, with one bed, between 8 people (she got the bed, the rest of us would sleep on the floor.) Yeah, no.
My best friend's ex boyfriend walked like he was trying to intimidate people. And every time he asked someone a question about someone's opinion (hey what do you think of that statue, do you like sauerkraut) he'd respond to their answer with "I had a feeling you were going to say that." It seems harmless but it was every single time, and if you called him out on it (you couldn't possibly have known I was allergic to x!) he lashed out in anger. Every time she tried to break up with him he cornered her and wouldn't let her leave the room until she relented, and even their couple's therapist thought she should leave him for her own safety after two or three sessions. He would wait for her shift to end just sitting in his car in the parking lot and if she didn't come out fast enough he'd storm into the building in a fury, but if she came out on time he'd just leave. He wasn't there to pick her up, just to monitor her... which he also did through a gps tracker he put in her car.
She now has a restraining order and has moved twice. He broke into her apartment with a gun while she was deep asleep and just snuggled up behind her with the gun between them as if it was his dick, and that was how she woke up. There are other things but this is getting long.
edit because people are ~~nosy~~ curious about other things he did:
-helped me move, but only to find out where I lived. After their breakup he came to my door several times looking for her, and when she was generally Not Here he settled for monitoring my house
-extreme fitness nut who was obsessed with telling people whether or not he could bench them (hint: usually not)
-lots of gaslighting, don't remember the details
-insisted on changing her cat's name, which didn't stick
-wouldn't let her *not* watch tv with him even though there are a hundred things she'd rather do than watch tv at any given time, up to and including a pap smear. This inspired multiple fights
-charmed her parents so successfully that they insisted she go to couple's therapy to "work out their differences" which were "I don't want to be constantly monitored, also your general controlling behavior is creepy" vs "you have nothing to hide if you're doing nothing wrong"
-ultimately their breakup was supervised by the couples councilor , who had building security waiting in the lobby and her hand on a panic button (who knew she'd have that)
-stormed into her work when she quit (post-breakup) because he decided they fired her and his plan was apparently to threaten them to get her her job back
-took her to court to argue against the restraining order. Judge looked at friend's documentation and how she was leaning away from him even on opposite sides of the room and he was making kissy faces at her and granted the order
-made very public posts on some weightlifting social media thing about what a crazy ex-girlfriend he had and *linked her profile in his own profile*
Was best friends with a dude (I'm a lady). Had been for a few years, never any chemistry or anything like that, at least on my end. He gets out of a long-term relationship, starts dating around. He'd often introduce me to these ladies as sort of a barometer of whether or not he thought they were a good match.
One weekend he invited a girl out with our group. She's super standoffish. Won't smile. Clearly isn't having a good time. I try to talk to her, get to know her, try to tell her about my friend and how great he is... she acts like I'm not there. Might as well have been the wallpaper.
A month later I'm on a date and we run into them. Remember: I am also on a date. With a man. As they are leaving they come over to say hello. She seems equally unhappy to be alive. I introduce my dude, the three of us chat for a minute while she stands there. I jokingly tug at his shirt in a "you ol' dog" kind of way. She STORMS OUT OF THE RESTAURANT. Both dudes are confused. Was not a flirty touch of any kind, more like a bro touch. Anyway.
Next day at work (I work with this guy), he comes up to me and says, "Hey, you can't do stuff like that. She's really damaged. Has jealousy issues. Doesn't trust men." I apologize profusely, because I didn't realize I had done anything wrong, even asked my date and he was baffled as well.
This friend had an emergency key to my house, in case I ever got locked out. He returned it a week later, citing something about "what if you call at 2am?"... but isn't that the point? Isn't that what BEST FRIENDS do? Help each other in times of need?
Flash forward a few months in. He refuses to speak to me. Again, we WORK together. Won't look me in the eye. He slowly gives up other relationships, male and female.
After dating the girl for 6 months, they get engaged. Now married. No idea how it's going or if he's happy. I ended up moving and haven't spoken to him since. Makes me really sad to see people give up who they are for a relationship.
He constantly made fake social media accounts to try and get her to cheat on him.
He started attending my college at 26, which isn't strange at all, but he INSISTED on living in the dorms for three years. It's not like we're a college town with expensive/far away/shitty off-campus housing, he just liked the ego boost of being around kids 8+ years younger than him. My friend was 19 when they started dating.
Another thing was that he was a "full time" stand up comedian with his own youtube channel. He mostly did open mic events at bars, but couldn't stand watching other people on stage perform if it wasn't him. He would sit and seethe when my friend told him she didn't want to leave when watching other people perform.
The creepiest moment was undoubtedly when my friend asked me if my boyfriend ever watched beastiality porn. Taken aback, I said fuck no and told her that'd be a major deal breaker for me if he did. She said "Oh. bf told me that every guy watches it."
Thankfully they broke up last week and I couldn't be more proud or happy for her.
A bit of background, this was a good friend of ours and previous roommate. At this point he'd moved out about a year and a half prior and we'd only had internet contact with him since. It was a meetup of old friends when we went to visit home.
This was the first time we (wife and I) met his newest girlfriend after his previous long-term relationship ended. She wasn't so bad, kind of giggling and goofy for him since he's a bit more serious, but fine, they seemed happy. We were out for dinner and her and my wife go off to the bathroom. I thought this was odd, since my wife is kind of a tomboy and doesn't do the whole 'girls go to the bathroom to do their makeup and gossip' thing, but I find out later friend's SO invited her to ask her a few questions about our friend.
Well, after about 20 minutes went by, I realized they weren't back yet. We were both tipsy and engaged in conversation and time got away. This was a small gathering of a few couples, and one of hte other girls goes to check on them. Come to find out, friend's SO basically had my wife cornered in the bathroom, crying in her face and demanding to know why our friend had a secret crush on my wife and why he wouldn't admit it to her. After getting the recap from my wife, she said she had no clue if the girl was going to attack her or molest her since a few times she was apparently completely against her to the wall.
Apparently it was a mixture of my wife wanting to calm her down, and also a little afraid since she was half this girl's size and legitimately couldn't get past her that caused the long drawn out... issue. Luckily the person going to check on them snapped the girl out of it and diffused the situation.
Very bizarre, we've seen her one time since (not exactly on purpose) and she acts like the whole thing didn't happen. She apparently has no history of mental illness, but I have no clue beyond that.
Long story. Best friend was adopted as a kid. Adoptive parents killed in a car accident when he was 11. He was in the back seat. He survived.
Became even better mates. Same schools and college. He decided he was gonna marry this girl. I was happy for him but I had never met her as I lived out of the country at the time. So wedding is in 6 months. I fly down to see family and end up going with my the girl friend and some friends and we all meet up at a local restaurant.
Meet his fiance. She seems nice and welcoming. She flirts subtly with me. Nothing major but talks about my appearance quite a bit. In front of her fiance. I think nothing much of it.
Later in the evening I go to the bathroom. I end up walking to a cubicle and as I enter she jumps in front of me and closes the door with me inside... I ask her what she's doing. Her response is anything I want.
I immediately push her out. Sit down and in shock have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
I go back to the table. I'm quiet. I realize that I should tell or say something to him.
I pull him outside and tell him what happened. He is too in shock. Ruins the whole evening and next day I flew back to my home town with my girlfriend to see my family.
We don't speak for months until the wedding. I'm his best man.
Whole family was off to me. Bride hated me. We don't speak anymore but I know what happened and friends support my decision to tell him. He claims she says it was all a misunderstanding due to being drunk. I know what I saw. I know what happened. I know what she was trying to do. I feel bad because I have probably lost a friend but my conscious is clear.
Good luck Philip.
He showed abusive and manipulating behaviour from day one. But it was fine because she loved him and she could change him. A year later he had cheated at least once and was constantly threatening to kill himself if she left him. It was fine though because really he loved her but didn't know how to express it.
Year two and he controlled her facebook and phone, and he decided who she could and couldn't talk to. It was romantic though because he just really cared about her.
Year three and he'd cheated at least 4 times and he'd also pretended to kill himself and break up with her multiple times each, after one of which she tried to kill herself.
We had a whole intervention thing while she was in the hospital and she agreed to leave him.
Two weeks later they were back together. He spent $800 on my birthday gift, how could he NOT love me?! Oh yeah and I cant talk to you anymore squeakypop because he says I shouldnt.
Shes still with him
The first time we met her was at a bar. My bf and I arrived early, so we found a scrabble board on the game shelf and started playing. When my friend and his SO got there, literally before even introducing herself, the SO looked at our scrabble board and said, "Wow that's a lot of small words. Are you guys stupid?" My BF and I were so stunned that we kinda just ignored the comment. Was she joking???
Anyway, she (unsurprisingly) turned out to be a psychotic ultrabitch.
me and my cousin grew up together like brothers,
I immediately knew his new girlfriend didn't like me from the looks she would give me or how blunt she was when I tried to engage her in conversation.
A few months down the line and I try and arrange a meal with my cousin, asked him to bring his girlfriend along so we can break the ice. everything was arranged, I showed up at the restaurant and they didn't. I was stood up.
they are now married and have two kids. I wasn't invited to his stag night or his wedding I was (and still am, gutted)
I met my wife and invited him to my stag do, he was all paid up and I couldn't wait to see him again. it was the thing I was looking forward to the most..... he didn't show... again gutted
he and his wife showed up to my wedding and acted as if there was no problem, it was quite strange but I didn't care as it was great to just spend some time with the man I had considered my brother.
we kind of kept in contact via text but never met up, even though I tried to arrange it a few times.
Then my son was born, I was desperate for them to meet each other and bent over backwards to meet up.
I agreed to meet at a play area so his daughters could tag along and go play and he got to meet my son (who is named after his brother who passed away)
I sat there for an hour before he messaged me to say he wasn't coming.
as a final attempt to salvage some kind of relationship I invited his family to my sons christening, I got a message an hour after it had finished to say he wasn't going to make it as his wife had arranged to do something.
that was 4 years ago and I haven't heard, seen or spoke to him since.
still makes me sad but as long as he is happy, then that is all that matters.
EDIT: Just to expand a little, I have tried to contact him many, many times, via text, phone, facebook message but I haven't had a response.
I don't believe he is happy, but I don't know enough about his relationship to pass comment.
He has cut me off and there is nothing I can do to change that, I just hope that one day we do get a chance to sit and talk it through, just so he knows I don't hold anything against him or her. if he wants me to be part of his life then great, if he doesn't, then at least he knows I still love him.
When he started trying to pick fights with me in order to separate me from my cousin. We were in our mid teens, he looked 17 or 18, very clean cut and geeky in a boy band sort of way, you know, the "sensitive one" with the glasses. He was well mannered, respectful to our moms, but he seemed predatory to me. I didn't have the best people around me growing up, so I learned to recognize potential threats early, and this guy set off all my danger bells. Just small things, like watching too closely to see how people reacted to him, and the way his smile never reached his eyes. I wasnt rude, but i didnt fawn over him either. Once he realized that I wasn't charmed by him, he started avoiding me, telling her he didn't feel comfortable around me, and she'd have to see him alone. He tried bullying me any time he saw me, while still bragging to me that he was her protector and her white knight.
Found out a few months later that he was actually in his mid twenties, and had a record for stalking and and assaulting underage girls. Too bad we didn't know this before he gave her herpes.
I knew when he started complimenting me when she'd leave the room, when he'd get handsy and creepy and overly generous in front of her and she didn't care. Red flags. That's when I knew he was not really as into the marriage as she portrayed, and she was keeping up appearances, secrets, in denial. Then grabbed my ass & he shoved his hand down the front of my corset in the middle of a Halloween party (he was shit face drunk) in front of his wife, my friend since 14 yrs old, who knew I was horrified because I'm super shy. She did nothing. Laughed it off. I did not laugh. He ended up cheating on her with her best friend, in her house, while she slept in the next room. And her best friend was his boss's girlfriend, so he found out & he lost his job & house. My friend went off her psych meds due to not having the income and stability and went from bipolar disorder that was completely under control for years, to full on stress induced psychosis, lunatic on the street, talking to God through the colors of the street lights and tree leaves, being admitted to the psych ward by police. She later told me that her husband got so mad he threw her cat against the wall when he was drunk and hurt it so bad that he thought he killed it, so he put it in the dumpster. But the cat woke up. So they just acted like nothing happened.....The amount of toxic drama around them was insane. I walked away. I miss her though. I always will.
My best friend started to date this girl about a year ago. She was awesome always seemed so nice and was very fun to be around. About 3 months into the relationship and every thing was going great. Then he asked her to move in with him. The day comes to move in and I go over to help move the heavy stuff and low and behold she shows up with a 5 y.o. When he ask who it is she said her son! We were blown away. She never mentioned it, said anything about having a kid.
Her Facebook had 0 pics of her kid, no one mentioned her kid. It was a big cover up and she basically just wanted someone to support her and her kid. He noped outta that one right then and there.
The first time I met him was at her birthday party. He shook my hand then proceeded to try and grind on me in front of her and her family. Then when I called him out on it everyone said I was the problem and was just jealous. A year later, it turns out he had been cheating on her continuously and had gotten 2 girls pregnant while dating her.
First time I met him, he told me he had the biggest crush on her for two years before they started dating, but he was waiting for her to lose her virginity and turn 16. He was 33.
*Edit: We're in Canada and age of consent is 16. Still fucking gross.
The second time we met she cornered me in the bathroom and threatened to cut me if I spoke to her boyfriend again.