Trespassing. I'll tell y'all how Area 51 is.
Edit: ok fine I'll wear a bulletproof vest
Counterfeiting golden tickets
The second law of thermodynamics. INFINITE ENERGY BITCH
Grand Larceny ... honey I just have to hit the bank... where's my ski mask and note pad???
Think bigger: Newton's law of universal gravitation.
Zoning law. I'll put my shed wherever the Fuck I want thank you very much.
I'd most likely never pay taxes again or just ignore speeding signs.
Insider trading - I'd give all of the stock brokers and fund managers I know a free pass, by funneling it through me. I'd take a percentage, and just make the trades throughout the day. Still working 9-5 but always a sure thing. It would take a second to get the word around but it would be the most profitable option, especially once I started making serious cash to re-invest.
I don't actually know what larceny is but it sounds like a cool word so why not