Adrian Carton de Wiart
He served in the Boer War, First World War, and Second World War; was shot in the face, head, stomach, ankle, leg, hip, and ear; survived two plane crashes; tunnelled out of a prisoner-of-war camp; and tore off his own fingers when a doctor refused to amputate them.
Describing his experiences in the First World War, he wrote, **"Frankly I had enjoyed the war."**
They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards. (Creighton Abrams)
That guy in the salem witch trails that when they were crushing him with a board and placing rocks on it. He wouldnt admit to witchcraft and kept saying 'more weight' until he died
"Turn me over, I'm done on this side" St Lawrence whilst being burned alive
"There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero, facing his death.
Spanish Missionary/Inquisitor: If you repent for your sins now you can go to heaven.
Native American Chief: Are there Spaniards in heaven?
Spanish Missionary: Yes.
Native American Chief: Then I'd rather die and go to Hell with the rest of my people than be with more Spaniards for even a moment.
When Genghis Khan [destroyed a Persian empire after they massacred one of his trade caravans,](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongol_conquest_of_Khwarezmia
) he at one point in the campaign reportedly said to a group of wealthy merchants in a city his army had just captured:
"Some of you will say that only God can punish you. Know this - **I** ***am*** **the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.**"
"Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?"
Daniel Daly- twice awarded the medal of honor.
"Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake, there would have been a fight."
- Vice President Thomas R. Marshall on the death of Theodore Roosevelt
"I'm not a paranoid deranged millionaire. Goddamit, i'm a billionaire."
- Howard Hughes
Just about anything chesty puller said
“They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can’t get away from us now!”
Probably not the most bad ass, but a good line nonetheless.
Khrushchev supposedly once said to Zhou Enlai, Premier of China under Mao: "You must acknowledge that I come from the working class, while you were born to a family of the bourgeoisie."
Zhou replied: "Yes, but we have one thing in common. We have both betrayed our class."
“To Joseph Stalin: Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send a very fast working one to Moscow and I certainly won't have to send another.” ―Josip Broz Tito
Source/Notes: Robert Service, Stalin: A Biography (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 2005), p. 592.
My dad told me a story about a man who was mortally wounded in a gunfight. When the doctor told him there wasn't much to be done to save his life, he got up off the bed and managed to walk out into the street. "Where are you going?!?!" asked the doctor.
**"I'm going to go kill the bastard that killed me," he said.**
Earl of Uxbridge, the cavalry commander at the Battle of Waterloo.
In the dying moments of the battle that the commander sealed his reputation as one of Britain’s most self-contained and unflappable soldiers. Riding next to Wellington as cannon shot hurtled across the battlefield, he turned to the Iron Duke and uttered the brilliant conversation-starter: “By God, Sir, I’ve lost my leg.”
To which Wellington replied, with equal restraint: “By God, Sir, so you have.”
"I'm the big buck of this lick. If any of you want to try it, come on and whet your horns!"
- Abraham Lincoln to a crowd that was angry after he won a wrestling match in one move.
[Edited for full quote]
The reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to an ultimatum from the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed IV:
"O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother."
Voltaire, on his deathbed, was called on to renounce the devil: "Now is not the time to be making new enemies."
"My centre is giving way, my right is retreating, situation excellent, I am attacking." -Marshal Ferdinand Foch
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country." - George S. Patton
Shortly before World War I, the German Kaiser was the guest of the Swiss government to observe military maneuvers. The Kaiser asked a Swiss militiaman: “You are 500,000 and you shoot well, but if we attack with 1,000,000 men what will you do?” The soldier replied: “Shoot twice and go home.”
"We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."-Ben Franklin before the signing of the Declaration of independence
Philip II of Macedon sent an envoy to Sparta threatening "If I win this war, you will be slaves forever." Sparta responded with "If". Granted at the time Sparta wasn't really the same military force to be reckoned with that it once was, but still a bad ass thing to say.