Getting a text message saying there's nuclear missiles heading your way
Talk about how much better your ex was at doing x y z.
I was once at a work-related training out of town. It was "Safety when climbing utility poles, and proper climbing safety equipment" or something. We're all laughing having a good time, about 15, mid-20s from throughout California. Guy #1 up the pole is making a joke about seeing some chicks down the road, and how he was the only one who had the vantage to enjoy it. Then the most awkward guy of the whole group a.k.a guy #2(who was taking this training for the 3rd time since he keeps failing) blurts out something along the lines of "YOU KNOW ITS SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN THAT WHEN GIRLS SQUIRT ITS MOSTLY PISS!!" Everything goes completely silent, guy1 descends the pole, everyone is dismissed and we're left to think wtf is wrong with this guy. Kevin if you're still working in communications in Santa Monica, I hope you've straightened your life out.
I was getting messing around with this guy, but we were seeing who could out last the other until one of us broke and kissed the other. I got on top of him, shirtless and just as he was about to put his face in my boobs I pinned him down and said "You must give me the Krabby Patty secret formula!!!" And he went soft and was totally done with my nonsense.
Start talking about League of Legends.
Neighborhood children begin playing outside. It's worse if they start singing songs. Particularly children's songs.
Had a guy stop thrusting to say "actually, we should stop, I have a girlfriend" with his dick still in me. Like really dude, you already messed up, edging us both won't help anyone.
My ex hates Phil DeFranco. HATES him, the sound of his voice, the editing style, just loathes him.
So, of course, during a session of 'Netflix n Chill' I'd lean in close like I was gonna kiss her, then whisper in her ear "What's up, ya beautiful bastards!"
That's how I learned the couch wasn't particularly comfy to sleep on.
talking about how retarded our kids would look
At a weekend party among co-workers, bring up work.
A sure way to be told to shut up or leave.
I asked my gf at the time, with whom my relationship was crumbling, if she wanted me to put it in. She dismissively said "Yeah, sure." The mood was immediately dead.
I once started barking during sex, he lost his hardon in a sec. Now everytime I don't want to have sex we start doing it and then I bark and voila, it's over.