Do you know him/her? He/she's polish.
There's 1.5 million polish people in Chicago. No I don't know them. Except once in a while I do actually know them.
I have a very very common first name and a very very common last name.
Yes. It's my real name. No. I'm not in witness protection.
EDIT: Literally none of you have gotten it yet.
EDIT2: This was a mistake.
I don't like being asked what I'm doing on the computer. I'm not doing anything. Really. If I were doing something worth talking about I'd tell you, but half the time I'm not even interested in what I'm doing
"How are you still single? Are you looking for something serious?"
Quite frankly, if I could answer the first question then all of this would be solved now wouldn't it, Lisa.
Edit: Family dinners are the WORST for this question.
"Classics major, huh? What you gonna do with that?"
"I dunno. Heroin?"
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
I can barely predict five days in advance.
“Oh so it’s just your mom? Where’s dad?”
Dead. As in not living. Have a nice day.
I have twins.
"Are they twins?"
"No, triplets, oh shit where's the other one?"
"What do you want to do with your life"
I dread going to the grocery store directly after work because people *constantly* ask me if I work there.
(My work uniform involves dark pants and polos of various blue colors, which is apparently all that is required to be certain someone works in a grocery store.)
Pro tips if this happens to you:
1. Keep a sweatshirt in your car, preferably not blue. Cover up that polo.
2. Keep your hands on your shopping cart at all times, people are more likely to think you're grocery shopping that way and not returning items or something. When you aren't near your cart keep your cell phone out and a confused look on your face.
3. Move quickly and with purpose, people are less likely to interrupt someone who seems to be doing something.
4. AVOID LITTLE OLD LADIES they always need help. Sounds terrible now that I've typed that out.
5. No eye contact.
I'm a male Ashley and I hate answering questions about my name. No, I wasn't named after the Gone with the Wind guy. No, my parents didn't want a girl. No, I'm not fucking with you. Just give me my number so I can pick up my food when it's ready. Jerk.
Not so much a question. I speak English and German and any time it's even mentioned I always hear some variation of "say something in German!"
How did you ge those scars? It’s none of anyone’s business and I don’t like talking about it.
"When are you having kids?" or "Why don't you have kids?"
It's a super personal question and it is a pretty sensitive topic for my wife.
"What do you have to be anxious about?" Nothing you waffle, that's why it's a disorder.
Ever been unemployed?
- *How's the job-search going?*
- *Any leads? Any nibbles?*
- *You find a new job yet?*
If someone is looking for a job, don't ask them this shit -- it's annoying and makes them feel even more worthless than they already feel. The most you should really do is email / text them any job openings you come across that might be a fit for them (but don't follow-up with them asking if they applied).