Two things come to mind...
1. Working on my dad’s lobster boat. The bait we used was dead skate (basically stingrays) which after a couple days emit a disgusting brown liquid. Needless to say when you spend hours stringing the bait together, some of
liquid goes flying around.
2. Working at beach club. My friends says “hey!” I look over to him to say “what” and he has a toilet brush outstretched next to my face which went straight into my mouth. The brush we used for the public toilets.
Don’t kiss me
Limburger cheese and vinegar sandwich. I dry heave thinking about it. My grandpa loved them and one day I harassed him enough to let me try it. He kept telling me how much I’d hate it but I insisted and dear god kill me.
A hornet. Landed on a piece of beef jerky just as I was putting it into my mouth and I didn't notice...until the stinging. Oh dear god, the stinging.
A deer once tried to jump over my car, and crashed through my windshield instead. I soon found myself spitting out a mouthful of window glass, deer fur, and blood (some of the blood was definitely mine, not sure if all of it was).
I once drank bbq sauce out of a shoe found on the side of the road for $5.
I made a coffee in a travel mug on my way to work one morning. As I'm driving, I am taking tiny sips of the hot coffee. I drank about half of it this way until it reached a temperature I could take a larger sip.
I felt something in my mouth. Maybe I was crazy. Tried to pull a hair out of my mouth but it was gone.
Took another sip and this time there was definitely something in my mouth. So I spit* it back into the mug.
There was a large spider floating in there. Only a couple very distinguishable pieces of it though. I swallowed the rest by accident. It must have been in the mug before I poured the coffee.
I used to just smell my mugs before using them. Now I look in them too.
A very large, [European House Spider](http://i.a4vn.com/2015/9/4/hoang-hon-phat-hien-con-nhen-to-nhu-con-chuot-trong-nha-5f7300.jpg
The first year I moved to Europe, we had a garden apartment that opened up into a nice yard that my kids could play in. That first year there seemed to be a plague of these humongous black spiders everywhere. They are generally harmless, but HUGE.
One day, I washed my face in the bathroom and reached for my towel. As I dried my face, the large black spider that was hiding behind my towel raced across my face looking for a place to hide.
I opened my mouth in astonishment not realizing that there was a large spider rushing across my face - it proceeded to run right into my mouth.
I caught a glimpse of it in the mirror as it disappeared into my mouth - of course, I immediately spit it out into the sink.
It didn't bite me or do anything bad, but its skin felt smooth, cool and silky as if it was made out of silk from an expensive scarf or necktie that had been put it in the fridge - cool, silky and wiggly.
I still cannot forget that feeling and to be honest, I hope it never, ever, ever, ever, ever happens again.
No Thank You.
**EDIT:** The European House Spider is also known as the [GIANT HOUSE SPIDER](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider
) - ours were jet black and nobody was ever actually bitten by them, so I tried to never kill them.
I woke up and yawned one day, my dog decided to lick the roof of my mouth
Used to escort. Had a client who lied about their age and appearance.
He was about 50 and I needed the money.
He had the most disgusting genitalia I’ve ever witnessed.
He oinked when he came.
This is going to be bad so fair warning. I got a little kitten for my 6th birthday. I was out of my mind excited, and I held her up in a sort of lion king thing and she puked.
Right into my mouth. But wait it gets worse. She had just been wormed and there were worms in the puke. In my mouth.
I'm still not over that one. Also the kitten died soon after.
As a teen I worked on a diary farm with my father. We would play music on a stereo while milking the cows. I was singing along to 500 Miles by the Proclaimers. I'm belting out the da da da part when a cow flicked her tail and flung poo right into my mouth.
It was terrible. It was oily. It wouldn't wash out. I'll never forget it.
An old dorm roommate used to do chewing tobacco and leave little cup of spit in the room. After doing a shot one night I reached for my chaser and grabbed the wrong thing.
My first apartment had no air conditioning. I used to lie around in my underwear, spraying myself with a water bottle now and then while I sat in front of a fan. For funsies and because I'm secretly a child, I'd occasionally spray some into my mouth.
Long story short, I had once used that bottle to catch some beetles that I didn't want to kill, and intended to chuck outside the next day. Apparently instead of doing that, I refilled it, continued using it, and proceeded to drink actual beetle juice for weeks without realizing.
That, or the time I was yawning and my cat full on sneezed in my open mouth. idk they're both awful.
Spilled M&M's on my bed while studying and accidentally picked up a little peice of cat poop my cat had stuck to her paw and ate it (brown and small looked like a sad M&M)
Got a blister on the roof of my mouth from eating food before it cooled down enough.
That's not the bad part. Accidently popped said blister. The most disgusting thing I have ever tasted!
So basically juices from a popped blister.
My friends piss.
Way back when my buddy had to send his Xbox 360 out for repair. It was coming back in and he had to work, I didn’t. He asked if I could chill at his house because they wouldn’t leave it if no one was there. Sure, no problem.
Hanging out in his room I see a pretty much full bottle of coke. Pour a glass, take a big sip, as soon as it hit my mouth I knew something was wrong. Ran down stairs and spit it out. In the back of my head I knew what it was so I used some mouth wash they had and toothpaste using my finger.
He gets home, I didn’t wanna ask him but finally I had to confirm my suspicions and asked. He just looks at me with the most sorry look on his face and goes “nooooo”. I nodded and said yeah. He then explained how he was to lazy to go down stairs in the middle of the night and pissed in the bottle.