Score
Title
11609
Drug addict for 8 years, went to jail in 2015, and went to the psych ward twice in early 2017. Couldn’t hold a job for more then a few months. Now Im 100% drug free for 135 days and a manager of McDonalds! In the fall of 2018 Im on track to fulfill my dream to go to Hamburger University in Chicago!
40506
This is my worst nightmare
5442
Scientists edge closer to creating a blood test that can detect multiple types of cancers, seeing success rates of around 70% in cancerous individuals
39732
Every few years Tom Hanks plays a slightly more serious Captain.
24041
Mandrake root
26538
Lil boop
7640
Advice for the roads
3515
Babushka had enough!
22055
the thing goes bork
11234
18-year-old Linda Siegel whose low cut top caused controversy at Wimbledon in 1979
20794
You've been challenged by the wood.
20833
Kinda sad, but kind of a genius marketing strategy
13590
Trump appointee Carl Higbie resigns after it was revealed he said things like “I just don’t like Muslim people” and “black women think breeding is a form of government employment”
107590
Now we're asking the real questions
6504
MRW I turn to greet my Uber driver and discover that he's actually my doppelganger.
28107
Apple has a change of heart and approves an app that finds net neutrality violations
13770
Instead they say liberal
34140
83 yo man clings to his beloved cat who was saved from a fire that destroyed their home.
15040
Hot knife on Jello.
18347
HMC while I mess with this Iguana
21181
Shelljacking attempt thwarted ??
7503
My father (former programmer) is teaching himself woodworking
3770
Porg trying to swallow a banana
19567
Take away your finger
4846
Rapunzel, are you up there?
4871
Thigh gap
50275
I'm a long-haul trucker, most of my shirts have a noticeable seatbelt line.
10443
Blue Navy
5673
Top 10 saddest songs in anime
13308
Robopupper 2: Boop Day
9141
Turned around to see my dog making THIS face!
14462
Powerful tumbling
6770
The infamous croissant pupper
1762
Half buildings in Paris [X-post /r/architecture]
4483
Summoning the upvotes
11312
Eugene was a feral cat who lived in my garden for months. I built a shelter and slowly earn his trust. One night, it dropped to -4°c, I go out and bring him in. He resists. The next morning he's reclutant to leave. Today, 2 months later, Eugene came to visit me in bed for the first time for cuddles.
35485
Trudeau bans anti-abortion groups from summer jobs funding
2651
Some genius installed an automatic hand sanitiser over the elevator button
9917
Maru returns from the cat dimension
1723
One Pot Chili Mac
1640 cheesecrystal My mother in law who hates to travel, hates to leave home, woke up in Hawaii for the first day of her vacation today. I think this is probably her last vacation.
5914 oricoson My buddy is in Hawaii on vacation and he just texted the group chat “See ya later fellas”
4463 Blastgirl69 My mom called me, she lives in Ewa Beach. I missed the call, she sends a text saying a missile is hitting Hawaii and she wanted to let me know she loves me. I went online and saw that it was a mistake, I called her back and the warning was still on the tv. I could hear it in the background. I found out it was a false alarm faster on Social Media (Twitter) from the Dept of Defense than they did over there.
2644 beefchafe I live in Hawaii! And it was the most terrifying experiences of my life. I was at a friends house with a bunch of other guests. Our phones went off in unison with the civil defense tone, all capital letters saying “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER.” I had to sprint outside to stop my brother from leaving for work with a car full of people. We ran inside, frantically closing all our windows and doors. Everyone was calling their parents and crying. I was shaking. My parents were getting ready to climb into a cave on our property. And the worst part? My sister in Texas knew it was a mistake before us! She was the one that texted my family. The second emergency alert declaring it a drill wasn’t sent until at least 20 minutes after the first. We got the news from Twitter.
1946 aJan_ Hawaii resident here. Woke up two hours after said alert. Was really confused about what my text messages were about. I take solace in the fact I would have died peacefully in my sleep.
2782 [deleted] I was playing some Fortnite and got this notification on my phone. I heard it going off and slowly grabbed my phone, wondering what kind of weather alert it could be (it's a beautiful day today) I initially read about an incoming missile, and my heart sinks, but I assume it's a test, until I get to the end. "THIS IS NOT A TEST , SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY". Immediate panic. I started pacing around my apartment, trying to quickly google "ballistic missile" to see if i could find any info or if my phone had been hacked (or like a weird spam message popup). Immediately called my mom just to tell her that there is a missile incoming and to just be on the phone with her while it happens. Man....that really got the juices flowing on this sleepy saturday morning. Jeesh.
9251 seriesofstraws It was complete chaos here for about 20 minutes. I immediately left work and drove about 10 mins home and the roadways were crazy. Complete disregard for any traffic law whatsoever. People going 100+ in 45mph zones, running red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road - absolute chaos like nothing I've seen before. When I got home my family was huddled downstairs in the garage storage area (kinda underground) crying hysterically. I called 911 and they confirmed it was a mistake but we didn't get a txt msg confirming it was a mistake till about 30 minutes after the initial "THIS IS NOT A DRILL."
7894 NIAD_SIRDNE I cannot wait for the TIFU by sending Hawaii into a nuclear panic
4420 HoagieTime All the people in Hawaii who made a new year's resolution to quit smoking are going to have a massvive cheat day
7992 TooShiftyForYou 38 minutes to correct this error seems like a long time to fear imminent death.
1492 NotYourAverageBubba Was in the video intro to the Pearl Harbor tour entitled (ish) "Why We Went To War." Possibly the most hilariously awful timing of anything in my life. Marines ordered us to stay inside, Navy personnel were freaking out harder than most of the people. We had to remind some other tourists that we were currently in a sunken, steel-reinforced structure on a military installation and that we're in a pretty good spot. Am now drinking heavily in a nearby bar and everything tastes DELICIOUS EDIT: words
11734 lococommotion I’m here on a school trip. There were people running from the beach and crying and calling their families. I still am feeling the adrenaline! What a major fuck up.
3443 Udontlikecake Well at least we know that button actually works -some guy at NORAD probably
13830 2112xanadu My aunt called me to say her goodbyes. She said everyone at their hotel was screaming and running through the hallways. What a massive fuckup.
3724 secretevidence Active military. First thought was "Where's the safest place to take my wife right now" Second was "Oh shit, if I don't die right now I'm going to war" Hell of a way to start the day. My blood pressure still isn't back down to baseline.
15207 RedwSmoke There's someone sitting in a fully stocked underground bunker that's going to be pissed when they come out in 30 years to check radiation levels.
14833 going_mobile The worst part was realizing how unprepared we were. My roommates and I woke up to the alarm and just sat there not knowing what we’re supposed to do in this situation.
5858 drfeelokay I learned learned 2 things from this false alarm 1. Why our parents are all so fucked up 2. My nuclear survival strategy is to drink a bunch of lukewarm soju
3166 kkaallaaee Was driving past Pearl Harbor when I got the alert. Noped the fuck out of there so hard.
18608 dawkbrook "So, why did you leave your last job?" "I caused a mass panic that ignited fears of a nuclear annihilation. And the department was downsizing. It was mostly the downsizing."
1796 matt2dlg People were literally putting their kids in storm drains. Next level fuck up
4076 wonkierbooble 2018 seems to be going smoothly, I see.
4325 Thatonedude25 This should not be taken lightly. You had an entire state in a state of panic. People could have been injured or even died if the issue wasn’t resolved quickly.
1416 rottedzombie Just got out of the bathtub. Huddled with the wife and toddler until the all-clear. I promised myself I'd die wearing clean underwear. Not like this. Also: the warning sirens did not go off at any point, which gave us hope. Still terrifying. And: False alarm alert pushed -- https://m.imgur.com/QV0QXE3 -- also showing up on our television.
1098 InnsmouthBear What do you think the chances are someone is hiding in a bunker in Hawaii right now unaware it was a false alarm?
9913 alextoyalex Someone is definitely getting fired.