Score
Title
71643
I beat colon cancer today. Happiest day of my life.
32576
Twenty-Two Attorneys General Sue The FCC Over Net Neutrality Repeal
9451
Kinda tame by this subreddit's standards, but I thought it was funny.
13207
What is wrong with you guys
10919
TIL Keanu Reeves was sued by a woman who suggested that he used hypnosis and impersonated her ex-husband to impregnate her. She sought $3 million in spousal support from the actor, and $150,000/month, retroactively, in child support. DNA test proved he was not the father and the suit was thrown out.
72591
Friend of mine told me to post here. Me in the mid 80's.
10034
The Original Dungeon and Dragon
22070
$275 Required Spanish textbook is loose leaf paper wrapped in cellophane.
15793
"I thought, I'm going to get a helicopter no matter what." : Aussie man hires a chopper in frantic search to find Missing son - And Finds Him.
60417
Incredibly skilled Inline Freestyle champion, Feng Hui
3292
Clever and actually well done.
36030
How wholesome new traditions are born
6266
??
8242
Man Gets Sucked Into Snowmobile
9855
The Varroa mite may be the biggest threat to honeybees. Now, scientists have found a new way to fight them. Tiny amounts of lithium chloride kill 90% to 100% of mites without killing bees.
32733
Rare white Swedish raindeer ??
4383
Linear reciprocation to rotation conversion
3214
WSU Player has tweeted that QB Tyler Hilinski has died.
5177
Survival of the Realest ??
68497
Police dog loves his partner
55399
Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools.
11284
My mom is learning how to sew. This chair-cover cooking set is her latest creation.
18042
The skeleton of a King Cobra.
10226
How laser cleaning works
20394
Got my new plates today. (P.S. I'm a lawyer)
2321
"Go get 'em, tiger."
11718
2018 hair trend?
95980
My son lives with his mother 3 hours away. I don’t get visitation that often and he’s old enough now to play online games, and just got GTA5 so now we can hang out and chat more or less every day :)
10244
Depressing
35465
The cover of the Princess Bride 20th Anniversary Edition DVD can be read upside down as well as right side up
8683
Cymbus, Mighty Warrior of the Twin Disks
2500
Ubisoft employee who said something Nintendo related will come in a few days is now saying what ever the Nintendo related thing is will cause the internet to explode
11752
Rule
5147
Cereal should come with resealable bags
2878
ELI5: Why do LED lights look jittery or like they're strobing when you look at them quickly?
7950
How to get Jesus to help you escape the cops
26279
What is the scariest, most terrifying thing that actually exists?
8015
Here you go
5722
With all the negativity I wanted to share I finally made $100,000.
4110
Poor grandma doesn't know what 'beef' is
1623 cheesecrystal My mother in law who hates to travel, hates to leave home, woke up in Hawaii for the first day of her vacation today. I think this is probably her last vacation.
5880 oricoson My buddy is in Hawaii on vacation and he just texted the group chat “See ya later fellas”
4449 Blastgirl69 My mom called me, she lives in Ewa Beach. I missed the call, she sends a text saying a missile is hitting Hawaii and she wanted to let me know she loves me. I went online and saw that it was a mistake, I called her back and the warning was still on the tv. I could hear it in the background. I found out it was a false alarm faster on Social Media (Twitter) from the Dept of Defense than they did over there.
2639 beefchafe I live in Hawaii! And it was the most terrifying experiences of my life. I was at a friends house with a bunch of other guests. Our phones went off in unison with the civil defense tone, all capital letters saying “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER.” I had to sprint outside to stop my brother from leaving for work with a car full of people. We ran inside, frantically closing all our windows and doors. Everyone was calling their parents and crying. I was shaking. My parents were getting ready to climb into a cave on our property. And the worst part? My sister in Texas knew it was a mistake before us! She was the one that texted my family. The second emergency alert declaring it a drill wasn’t sent until at least 20 minutes after the first. We got the news from Twitter.
1927 aJan_ Hawaii resident here. Woke up two hours after said alert. Was really confused about what my text messages were about. I take solace in the fact I would have died peacefully in my sleep.
2773 [deleted] I was playing some Fortnite and got this notification on my phone. I heard it going off and slowly grabbed my phone, wondering what kind of weather alert it could be (it's a beautiful day today) I initially read about an incoming missile, and my heart sinks, but I assume it's a test, until I get to the end. "THIS IS NOT A TEST , SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY". Immediate panic. I started pacing around my apartment, trying to quickly google "ballistic missile" to see if i could find any info or if my phone had been hacked (or like a weird spam message popup). Immediately called my mom just to tell her that there is a missile incoming and to just be on the phone with her while it happens. Man....that really got the juices flowing on this sleepy saturday morning. Jeesh.
9233 seriesofstraws It was complete chaos here for about 20 minutes. I immediately left work and drove about 10 mins home and the roadways were crazy. Complete disregard for any traffic law whatsoever. People going 100+ in 45mph zones, running red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road - absolute chaos like nothing I've seen before. When I got home my family was huddled downstairs in the garage storage area (kinda underground) crying hysterically. I called 911 and they confirmed it was a mistake but we didn't get a txt msg confirming it was a mistake till about 30 minutes after the initial "THIS IS NOT A DRILL."
7878 NIAD_SIRDNE I cannot wait for the TIFU by sending Hawaii into a nuclear panic
4411 HoagieTime All the people in Hawaii who made a new year's resolution to quit smoking are going to have a massvive cheat day
7968 TooShiftyForYou 38 minutes to correct this error seems like a long time to fear imminent death.
1493 NotYourAverageBubba Was in the video intro to the Pearl Harbor tour entitled (ish) "Why We Went To War." Possibly the most hilariously awful timing of anything in my life. Marines ordered us to stay inside, Navy personnel were freaking out harder than most of the people. We had to remind some other tourists that we were currently in a sunken, steel-reinforced structure on a military installation and that we're in a pretty good spot. Am now drinking heavily in a nearby bar and everything tastes DELICIOUS EDIT: words
11722 lococommotion I’m here on a school trip. There were people running from the beach and crying and calling their families. I still am feeling the adrenaline! What a major fuck up.
3440 Udontlikecake Well at least we know that button actually works -some guy at NORAD probably
13827 2112xanadu My aunt called me to say her goodbyes. She said everyone at their hotel was screaming and running through the hallways. What a massive fuckup.
3710 secretevidence Active military. First thought was "Where's the safest place to take my wife right now" Second was "Oh shit, if I don't die right now I'm going to war" Hell of a way to start the day. My blood pressure still isn't back down to baseline.
15181 RedwSmoke There's someone sitting in a fully stocked underground bunker that's going to be pissed when they come out in 30 years to check radiation levels.
14822 going_mobile The worst part was realizing how unprepared we were. My roommates and I woke up to the alarm and just sat there not knowing what we’re supposed to do in this situation.
5848 drfeelokay I learned learned 2 things from this false alarm 1. Why our parents are all so fucked up 2. My nuclear survival strategy is to drink a bunch of lukewarm soju
3157 kkaallaaee Was driving past Pearl Harbor when I got the alert. Noped the fuck out of there so hard.
18598 dawkbrook "So, why did you leave your last job?" "I caused a mass panic that ignited fears of a nuclear annihilation. And the department was downsizing. It was mostly the downsizing."
4077 wonkierbooble 2018 seems to be going smoothly, I see.
1794 matt2dlg People were literally putting their kids in storm drains. Next level fuck up
4317 Thatonedude25 This should not be taken lightly. You had an entire state in a state of panic. People could have been injured or even died if the issue wasn’t resolved quickly.
1415 rottedzombie Just got out of the bathtub. Huddled with the wife and toddler until the all-clear. I promised myself I'd die wearing clean underwear. Not like this. Also: the warning sirens did not go off at any point, which gave us hope. Still terrifying. And: False alarm alert pushed -- https://m.imgur.com/QV0QXE3 -- also showing up on our television.
1093 InnsmouthBear What do you think the chances are someone is hiding in a bunker in Hawaii right now unaware it was a false alarm?
9911 alextoyalex Someone is definitely getting fired.