I asked my BF if I was getting fat.
He said "Wait, you hadn't noticed?"
My wife once told me that I had no ass. I told her that’s because she has both of ours.
" Do you know why you're lonely? / It's 'cause you're fat.. and gay "
Some guy walked up to my wife and was obviously a little choked up... He said "I just lost the love of my life in a car wreck and you look exactly like she did".... when he left, she was quite smitten with herself... so I asked "Before or after the wreck?"
And now I’m single and so is that bunny
Er, "Any bunny have a boyfriend like this?"