Is she talking about Batman? Because it sounds like she's talking about Batman.
Don't associate with people that do this, seriously.
Some people are legit hurting and they need help. Bring them back up. However, some people go out of their way to get hurt, because they're nothing with out it. Cut them out of your life.
If you see someone hurting, reach out. If they decline, and stay pretty silent, they might just need time/reassurance. If they decline, and then constantly post bullshit about nobody caring about them, they're just looking for attention.
I've helped a lot of people out, but I've also put a lot of effort into people that didn't appreciate it.
Edit: I'm not talking about people that legitimately need help, but people that create an entire personality around a victim complex. Like, I know from my own personal experience, that some people throw stuff out there like that, because they don't know how to properly cope/heal. I've dealt with that for a long time, and I was honestly someone that did this for a long time.
I'm more talking about the people that have problems, don't fix them, don't try to fix them, purposely make them worse, then put shit on Facebook asking about why things are so bad. It's the difference between complaining because you got shot, and complaining about how you purposefully shot yourself in the leg, didn't go to the hospital, and complaining about how it hurts and is infected.
Hardest thing I ever did was forgive my dad for abandoning my sister and I. What's worse is when I reconnected with him I learned his childhood was more fucked up than mine...we got too many broken men breaking their children.
By 'depressed people' standards I'm a ray of sunshine but take away the depression and I'm just a kind mid-20's piece of shit.
I now know why Donald Duck won't heal me in Kingdom Hearts
It took me years before I was ready to move past it. Healing felt like I was giving up on my past and who I was. I'm glad I was wrong, though.
More like, abusers make you think they have your identity and won’t give it back. It takes a long time to realize you do have it inside of you but your identity is fractured. It’s not even fear, it is “I literally don’t know where ‘me’ is.” The proof it is not fear is that when you see a glimpse of who you are and that your abuser does not actually have it or own it, you will be ready to destroy worlds with all the fury of hell and glory of heaven to recover it. To recover the self.
I’ve tried a lot of things to treat mental illness. Some things helped a little. Some things did the opposite and made my symptoms worse. After 17 years of trial and error, this is what is working for me. These are all self disciplines (also, I’m not against medication. medication can help with symptom management and free up resources to build/learn these skills).
We’ve all heard it’s good. I can honestly say, for me, that this is not what directly heals things. It provides the vital space to heal. For me it is to build a workshop that I feel free to play and build in without shutting down or freezing when stress happens. I recommend alternating between mindfulness (more silent and sustained focus, building non attachment) and gratitude based meditation.
2. Nonviolent Communication
This is foundational because it helps me listen for feelings and needs, refrain from judgments, and build up an impeccable understanding of things that are NOT feelings and needs, but often thought of as such. This is the language skill that helps with everything else.
3. Reparenting the self.
This is a bit strange but it has helped me more than anything (and I could make a long list of things I’ve tried). I basically visit my “selves” (or parts of me), and bring them comfort, words they needed to hear and, for lack of a better term, salvation. To protect, care for, and recover my “selves” that have been traumatized.
4. Internal Family Systems
As a person who tried everything, I avoided this one because I thought it would require me to talk to my family. Holy cow I wish someone told me that has nothing to do with it years ago! It’s an extension of reparenting, and is a way to relate to your internal “parts.” Like the judging voice, the child voices, and the lost aspects of self. The goal is to reintegrate “exiles” that your survival mechanisms abandoned, and once you begin locating and integrating these exiles, it feels automatic, like my brain was waiting for the green light for this activity, but just needed me to demonstrate that the timing is right.
I share this in hopes that maybe just one person will have some success and I could save someone the pain and suffering I went through for so long. I won’t go into it, but I’ll say it was very bad and I’m lucky to still be alive.
I’m going back to studying, this meme just made procrastinating not fun
Reasons this rings so true even though it's just unscientific pop psych garbage lifted from a copy of Marie Claire:
1. Traumatized people often have low self-esteem which biases them towards blaming themselves for all their problems - or believing others who do the same.
2. Victimizers will believe anything that puts the blame for the problems they've caused on someone else.
3. Everyone else wants an excuse not to help the traumatized - it's their own fault they aren't healed.
This is too real. I've been in therapy for a few years, just started seeing a new therapist like 8 months ago because I wasn't making progress with my previous one. After about 4 sessions with this new guy he was like, "I have to point out something I've noticed, you frequently bring up really traumatic things that have happened to you."
I was like, "yeah, this is therapy, isn't that what you do? Reference the shit you went through and how it affected you?"
He was like, "yeah that can be helpful and it's important to recognize it, but the point isn't to find the source of the trauma and say 'ok there it is, end of story', it's to identify how you react to the trauma and change the way you react to it."
It seems really obvious now but that was mindblowing at the time. It's just really easy to blame the way you feel and how you react to those feelings on trauma.