Score
Title
20609
He is a failed guide dog, failed for being too friendly (legit) But he now is a disability support dog and my newest best friend. Every day he enjoys a carrot because he is a very "good boy"
54867
this man outside Roy Moore's rally in Alabama
20708
Truer words have never been spoken
22157
Bringing a kids imagination to life
8127
This is Doug Jones, a man who is running for Alabama Senate. He is running against a man who was kicked off the Alabama supreme court for disregarding the constitution and who molested little girls. Let's show him our support.
26460
Polite road rage
14701
512 year old Greenland shark is the worlds oldest vertebrate
5959
Just a reminder that if you live in Alabama, GET OUT THERE AND VOTE TODAY. The rest of the country is counting on you to stop Moore! You can do it!
7300
Happy special Election Day!
9581
AdBlock is real in Russia
4593
Nintendo Switch sells 10 million units worldwide in 9 months!
24164
SQL Clause
13100
Kim jong un’s brutal regime in north korea is worse than nazi concentration camps, human rights leader says
7049
Staples to the head never looked so good.
6836
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...
4861
In Watchmen, during the diner scene, you can hear a background actress say "I'm really glad I ordered the four-legged chicken!" This is in reference to a panel from the original comic in which a waiter is carrying a four-legged chicken.
3737
PepsiCo makes biggest public pre-order of Tesla Semis: 100 trucks
5591
he died a little bit for our sins • xpost r/tumblr
18491
The tallest (Cornelius Bruns), shortest and fattest (Cannon Colossus) man of Europe playing a game of cards, 1913
2563
Thanks to you, #NintendoSwitch has sold 10 million units worldwide in 9 months! Here’s to an amazing 2018!
3668
Reddit is OK most of the time, but sometimes...
41135
Not the hero Gotham deserves
2869
go get them big boy
2675
LTC $300 on GDAX
16499
2meirl4meirl
8855
A Burnout attempt in front of a store. WCGW
2953
Baby elephant with an itchy trunk
3742
I think I have to update my iOS...
28111
These GUSHY posts and i'm offended!
14578
Boy, 8, collects more than 1,000 toys for children of Puerto Rico.
8702
EU refused to follow the US move in recognising Jerusalem as the capital of Israel
1434
If Trump fires Mueller, the response needs to be immediate. MoveOn.org is planning emergency "Nobody is above the Law" protests, which will happen within hours of a Mueller firing. Please join your local rapid response team.
8282
Today r/Futurology is going to #BreakTheInternet to save net neutrality
14329
MRW I introduced my family to GoT and they keep talking about how much they like the "Main Character" Ned Stark
1422
Why consumers should worry about Disney purchasing Fox's entertainment assets
19931
Cockroaches change their gait at mid-speed, a behavior previously only observed in fast mammals. This change in gait is similar to the way horses change from trot to gallop. The discovery could help engineers train robots to walk more stably and efficiently.
35980
An Analysis of Net Neutrality Activism on Reddit
20652
Grammar Nazi at it's worst
5997
The movie "This Is Spinal Tap (1984)" has a rating of 8/11 on IMDb
1678
My father-in-law built this barn in the late 1970's near Duluth, MN. He primarily used wood reclaimed from another barn, originally built in the early 1900's near Superior, WI. They are approaching retirement and no longer raise livestock. This beauty has sat mostly disused for the past 10 years.
1760 anglis84 Princess Bride. Westley: To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.  Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.  Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.  Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.  Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.  [slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]  Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD! 
854 great9rejects Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
1361 AphoticAmaranth Hitler in "Der Untergang", when he learns that defeat is imminent. Many parodies have been made based on that one rant.
911 the_settlements It would have to be the rant done by the peasant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Much better to be watched rather than copying and pasting all the quotes. https://youtu.be/JvKIWjnEPNY
642 TheNerdyDeer Kid: Hey, who do you think you are, huh? Hub: I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY! Secondhand Lions is awesome.
2304 Megmca You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together... And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". -[Brick Top](https://youtu.be/QGsQ2gPzAf4), Snatch.
6312 thxxx1337 You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.
3243 Minime0601 Fullmetal jacket starting sequence. I absolutely loved that drill sergeant
4175 [deleted] [removed]
2704 winemominthemaking “Every Thursday I give Pudge the Fish a peanut butter sandwich. But today we were OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a TUNA sandwich. I can’t give Pudge tuna! Do ya know what tuna is??????” “Uh, fish...?” “IT’S FISH!!! If I gave Pudge tuna, I’d be an ABOMINATION! I’m late cuz I had to go to the store, get peanut butter, cuz all we had is - is STINKING TUNA!”
13385 theAtheistAxolotl Agent K, Men in Black. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow." Edit - as several of you have already said, the quote is not historically accurate. I know. It's still a good rant, imo.
1761 0 anglis84 Princess Bride. Westley: To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.  Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.  Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.  Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.  Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.  [slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]  Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD! 
853 0 great9rejects Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
1365 0 AphoticAmaranth Hitler in "Der Untergang", when he learns that defeat is imminent. Many parodies have been made based on that one rant.
911 0 the_settlements It would have to be the rant done by the peasant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Much better to be watched rather than copying and pasting all the quotes. https://youtu.be/JvKIWjnEPNY
647 0 TheNerdyDeer Kid: Hey, who do you think you are, huh? Hub: I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY! Secondhand Lions is awesome.
2312 0 Megmca You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together... And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". -[Brick Top](https://youtu.be/QGsQ2gPzAf4), Snatch.
6312 0 thxxx1337 You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.
3240 0 Minime0601 Fullmetal jacket starting sequence. I absolutely loved that drill sergeant
4170 0 [deleted] [removed]
2706 0 winemominthemaking “Every Thursday I give Pudge the Fish a peanut butter sandwich. But today we were OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a TUNA sandwich. I can’t give Pudge tuna! Do ya know what tuna is??????” “Uh, fish...?” “IT’S FISH!!! If I gave Pudge tuna, I’d be an ABOMINATION! I’m late cuz I had to go to the store, get peanut butter, cuz all we had is - is STINKING TUNA!”
13382 0 theAtheistAxolotl Agent K, Men in Black. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow." Edit - as several of you have already said, the quote is not historically accurate. I know. It's still a good rant, imo.