We hope the following resources will bring all victims the support they need:
) has a multitude of tools for current and recovering sexual assault victims in the United States. HotPeachPages houses an [international directory] (http://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html
) in over 110 languages. [1in6] (https://1in6.org/
) offers a wide range of information and services to male sexual violence survivors. On reddit, /r/rapecounseling and /r/MenGetRapedToo/ are dedicated to providing emotional support to sexual violence victims. As well, /r/adultsurvivors is a community for adults who experienced sexual abuse as children. Keep in mind, these communities are not lead by professionals.
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I've posted this a few times, here it is again.
Long story short: Late night after the bars in college, I go home and passed out, girl knocks on my door and asks if I'm home, we know her so my roommate says yeah and lets her in. She goes straight to my room where somehow, while I lay lifeless passed out drunk, she gets me hard and starts riding me. My roommate opens my door and flips on the light and asks if she even put a condom on me first, she says no, and he kicks her out. I am informed of all this in the morning.
Scary the idea that if the roles were reversed, it'd be a severely different story but I personally didn't really care nor did anyone else when I told them. Every single response was "that's awesome easiest lay of your life"
Posted this before in a similar thread:
I was raped by my college roomate's girlfriend. This happened around sophomore year of college. One of my roomates had been dating this girl off an in for about 8 months or so. She was a tall, athletic, attractive red head. She had that oh so famous red head temper. My roommate was also not the best boyfriend. They fought a lot in our apartment. Several times, I was forced to physically get between them to prevent an altercation and/or our stuff getting broken. These fights happened at least once a week, and almost every time they drank.
One Friday, she tells me that she wants to set me up with one of her soriorty sisters, so we 4 (roommate, roommate's gf, gf's friend, and myself) all go out to the clubs. The night was going surprisingly well. The friend and I didn't really connect in a romantic level, but we were all having a good time none the less. At one of the clubs, it's my turn to buy a round, I'm standing at the bar, trying to tune out the loud music, when I feel an arm reach around from behind me and grab my crotch. Natural reaction, I turn to see who it was and see my roomates gf standing behind me grinning... I carefully removed her hand, and tried to mentally brush it off as the alcohol getting to her. Fast forward another two hours and we are in the cab going back to our apartment. Roomate and girlfriend are loudly fighting about something, while the friend and I are sitting in uncomfortable silence. It is at this point, things get really blurry, it was as if all of the nights alcohol hit me all at once.
I remember us getting back to our apartment parking lot and my roomate and his girlfriend are shouting at each other. I throw the driver a bill and stumble back to our apartment with girlfriends friend in tow, leaving them to fight outside. I don't know where the friend crashed, I just walked straight in and straight to my bed. I don't think that I even took my club cloths off.
Don't know how much time passed, but get the feeling of something wet around my crotch area and on my stomach. My initial thought, before opening my eyes, was that I pissed myself. Upon opening my eyes, I see my roomates girlfriend on top of me, riding me. I sobered up in that one second and quickly shoved her off of me. I just remember saying "WTF are you doing?!" and her saying VERY loudly, "Well someone else won't fuck me!" as if she wanted my roomate to hear. I told her to get out, and she did whilst calling me an asshole. I lay there for a minute trying to analyze what just happened, when I start to feel sick. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the incident that just occurred, but I ran to the bathroom to puke. I returned to my bed and fell back asleep.
I never brought it up with my roomate or his girlfriend. I dont know if she ever told him. He told me the next day that he was so blasted that he didn't remember anything after we left the club. The sorority sister was no where to be found the next morning. Roomate and his girlfriend broke up for good not long after that.
I still see her around town every now and then. We are cordial we speak, but I have never brought up the incident. I'm not even 100% sure if she remembers doing it. To be honest, even I have confused feelings about it to this day.
When I was 8 years old, I was at church on Sunday morning. A woman that I knew well (in her 30's, the mother of a friend), cornered me in a room and told me she wanted to pray with me. She felt me up good as she prayed, and I mean everywhere. There was no sex, just groping. It lasted about 3 minutes, but felt like an hour. I was horrified and scared, and never spoke of it again until now, decades later. So... not a rape, but a molestation.
Throwaway because my mates know my actual Reddit account.
I wasn't raped but I was molested, I guess. When I was 19 my brothers girlfriend (now his wife) came into my room after we'd all spent the night drinking. I was very drunk, but I still had my wits about me. She's a big woman (tall and fat), and I was a short, skinny thing at 19 so yeah, when she started yanking my pants down I couldn't push her off. She started sucking me off but I didn't get hard, so she stopped after like 20 seconds and stumbled out of the room. I just sat there wondering wtf I should so. In the end I couldn't tell my brother because he'd be devastated and he'd probably beat my ass because he can't very well beat hers, and he needs to deal with issues with his fists. I eventually did tell someone when I was drunk, and to be fair he did say it was wrong - but only after I told him my sister-in-law is fat and unattractive. He assured me that if she were hot, I'd have enjoyed it. Except, no, because she was my brothers girlfriend and I felt like a complete prick for not being able to stop her.
Throwaway---I was about 11 years old when my family introduced me to our new Au Pair (Nicole..which is her real name cuz FUCK Nicole) from germany. Both my parents worked and my family was pretty well off so we could afford hiring a full time nanny that lived in our house (you can probably see where this is going).
Nothing happend at first but after a couple of months and all of us getting more comfortable she casually started asking me about my "love" life at school, had I kissed any girls yet, etc. I hadn't kissed any girl and was kind of a loner at my school and didnt think much of it at the time. As it was so long ago I forget every detail but I remember things really complicated when I confessed to her that I thought another Au Pair from the family down the road was very good looking. This prompted her to continually ask whether SHE was good looking and I got the sense that she was kinda of jealous of the other Au Pair.
This is when she started touching me. She would touch my leg with her foot, and would even touch me in public (while no one was looking) basically flirting with getting close (but not) touching my genitals. Her conversations with me became increasingly more sexual, she would buy me cds that were expelicted that my parents would let me listen to, take me to R rated movies etc. and around that time my family decided to go on a trip to the Caribbean all together where my father is from and we have family.
This is where shit gets weird and . On the flight down, my parents thought it was a good idea for us to sit together. Again, she was touching my leg, then started talking about going to the bathroom together etc. basically gradually grooming me and inching the sexual nature of our relationship closer. After a red-eye flight, we arrived at a apartment owned by my grandparents and crashed there for the night. For some un-godly reason my parents decided that Nicole and I should share a bedroom while my siblings slept on the couch and my parents slept in the bigger bedroom. Still to this day...I cant understand why they let me sleep in the same room as a grown adult, but I guess they really trusted her. She convinced me to come over to her bed, I kissed a girl for the first time, and she removed her top. I dont remember the whole conversation but I know that I was guilt tripped into doing it.
Fast forward, so after the carribean incident things started to ramp up A LOT. She would forcibly make out with me before I would get on the bus to go to my middle school where I had a really hard time as well. Would threaten telling my parents and would say "every guy in your school would be jealous so why would you want me to stop?" Eventually my parents planned a trip by themselves in early spring. This is when Nicole started mentioning that we should have sex and that i should trust her to lose my virginity. She bought condoms and showed me where she kept them in the lead up to my parents trip. I felt really torn...she was telling me that every boy would dream of this (even to this day this is the common thought) but I knew it was wrong...she was pressuring me..and I felt trapped by her. My parents left, and the first night my siblings got to sleep in my parents room. Nicole pressured me to have sex but I denied her, saying I felt it was wrong and that we shouldn't be doing this. She yelled at me and might of hit me a couple times in the arm and went to her room and locked the door. I remember crying at 11am..pacing between her room and mine...not sure what to do. I went to sleep and the next day is when it happened. I got to sleep in my parents room the next night. I remember I was watching southpark and she walked in. She said that we were going to have sex now and procedded to get undressed. I couldnt feel anthying honestly and she forced herself on top of me. Being young i didnt have control over my body so there was nothing I could do. She left after I finished and told me congratulations or something and I cried myself to sleep, alone in my parents bed.
Getting long so i will wrap it up. This went on for the next couple of months. She would force sex on me and In a way i started getting used to it. My mom got home early one day and she almost walked in on us *my underwear was on the ground but Nicole said she was folding my laundry while we were watching tv in her locked room....there were other incidents and she got caught lying to my parents about things she let me do or bought me, that they were unaware were basically pay off gifts for the abuse. Eventually I went off to summer camp for music and that's when i got some real prospective about what was going on. I told my friend for the first time and he said that it was fucked up. Upon returning home I basically made sure she would get caught lying to my parents for another time and hoped it would lead to her leaving. It did and she left one night screaming and crying at my parents and then was out of my life like a poof.
I have always felt torn about the fact I was raped. I listen to Joe Rogan and I know that 99% of guys will be like FUCK YEA BRO, WAY TO GET SOME!!! But she abused me, manipulated me, and would threaten me constantly. I was too young and stupid to understand what was going on. It took me years to be able to kiss a girl because I was disgusted by kissing. There are other things I really had to work through as well but I feel like I have turned everything into a positive as of now.
Thanks for listening guys.
My sister was a few years older than me. When I was in 8th grade (like 13 years old for my friends across the pond) she was around 17 or 18. One night she came home with her friend from a party and her friend was spending the night. Not unusual. There was laughing and banging around but eventually quiet and I went back to watching TV. 15 minutes later she comes into my room (we didn't have locks on our bedroom doors). She started talking to me. I've known her forever so this wasnt unusual either. I didn't know the signs then, but realize she was drunk now. So I was under the covers and she starts messing around with me. Not too weird. But then next thing you know shes kissing me. I pushed her away in a "whoa, hold the phone!" manner. She said she wanted to be ready for college. Next thing you know, hands in my underwear. This was before the internet and I was a pretty naive 13 year old kid and didn't really grasp what was going on. Next thing I know, I'm naked as the day I was born trying to hide my junk and she's all over me. Eventually after some various activity she rode me and I finished quickly. She got dressed and left and I just laid there in a WTF stupor for an hour before falling asleep. I never told a soul about it and I don't think she did because I was close to my sister and she would have mentioned something. I thought about it later and if the roles were reversed...an 18 year old boy going into a 13 year old girls room and forcing himself on her and it always felt like that scenario was way worse. I know they're both sexual assault, and even being a victim myself, it just always seemed different in my head.
Below is from the last time this question was asked.
I thought about using a throwaway for this but fuck it, I control my life now.
This is actually how my son was born.
I had been with this lady, lets call her Stacy, she was crazy, but I wasn't exactly stable either, I was really into painkillers at the time, and I was not doing very fantastic at life. I had a stable job, a shared rent house, a car, but no equity, no savings, (drugs are expensive) and a general feeling of wanting to die.
This general feeling of wanting to die was mostly due to the excessive painkiller use, and I was on Probation at the time, but that is a separate story of stupidity. Anyhow I wasn't exactly the most emotionally available person, I worked all the time, because rent+drugs=slavery. When I was home I was reading, or sleeping, or being a generally miserable cunt.
Now Stacy, Stacy, has no job, she just goes to school, she stays with me, rent free, and for a while, we were happy. Until my general priggishness pushed her away. Anyhow, she cheated on me. I caught an STI because of it. I broke up with her, I asked her to leave.
I get treated. I grieve. I become less like a human and more like a miserable, hollowed out, skeleton who has trouble processing mentions, emotions, priorities, the basics of human interaction. I get put on mail in probation, the easiest there is. I don't mail in. I just want to sleep. Maybe never wake up.
So I tried to end it the only way I knew how, I took a lot of painkillers, and drank whiskey till I couldn't see straight.
I wake up in the morning. I'm disappointed. I'm alive.
Stacy is naked beside. WTF? what happened? Did I call her? My phone is shattered. I wake her up. I ask her to leave. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, I'm starving, and so hungover I can't think. She starts to laugh at me. I start to get angry but my head spins, I fall back onto the bed. I realize she is undressing me. I moan out a please help me. I think I'm dying. I wake up. I'm naked. She's gone.
A few days later, she calls my job and asks to sit down with me. She says, "I'm late."
I cry. This is not what I needed. She asks for money. I give her some. Go back into work and my PO is there wondering why I haven't mailed in.
I go to jail. Then rehab. While I was in rehab my consular, helped me realize that the way she had always treated me, was not like a partner but as a servant.
I have no idea where to end this.
Anyone who has dealt with something like this knows,it's how you cope. I'm getting better, I still avoid relationships with women because I'm not ready. I want to get a little bit better before I try that again.
END OF ORIGINAL POST
To add I never told anyone until therapy about 12 months later. I didn't even believe me until I had run through it about 3-4 times. Self delusion is a motherfucker.
Thank you to everyone who sent me PM or a comment, sometimes I can forget how wonderful a place can be. Thank you for that. I needed it today.
Senior beach week, I had consensual sex with a girl one night ... in that I was really drunk and in that state sure, let’s do it. A night or two later I had passed out and my friends literally carried me to my bed. I came to with her on top of me. When I realized what was going on I got up and went to the bathroom. She followed me in there and tried to go down on me. In all seriousness, I tried to force it out to hurry the situation along and ended up peeing in her mouth. So... justice?
In all of the years telling that story, not one person has acted like it was not cool for her to get on me while I was passed out. Sometimes I get a “lol you got raped”.
Not my own story but one I heard from a friend of a friend a while back.
Basically he went out drinking with a bunch of people from uni. He wasn't particularly big on drinking or partying but he is kind of shy and wanted to get to know people more. About 1 in the morning he was walking back to the dorm with half a dozen of his fellow students when he confessed he was a virgin in a drunken game of truth or dare. One of the girls (that he barely knew) decided she would give him a BJ to 'make up' for him being a virgin. He didn't want it, especially not in front of everyone and in public so he resisted and pushed her away. She got upset because she assumed it was something wrong with her and the group sided with her, demanding to know why he was pushing her away, claiming that a proper guy should love getting random BJs. And that's why he prentended to be gay for most of uni. He dropped out after a year, partly as he felt uni wasn't for him but also because he was basically lying to everyone about being gay because of that one night.
Just imagine if you flipped that story, if a girl he barely knew had admitted to being a virgin so he decided to forcefully finger her to cheer her up about it.
Ended up in my exes room because she said she wanted to talk. She locked to door and told me she wanted to fuck. Told her no repeatedly and she started slapping and kicking me every time I tried to leave. I told her I was gonna yell for help and she said “who are my roommates gonna believe you or me?”. So I tried calling my friend to come help me but she took me phone and threw it into her closet, with the same kicking (balls) and slapping me. I finally relented and let her do whatever she wanted then packed up my things left and completely blocked her off of everything.
I've told this story on my other account. I guess I'll tell it in a little more detail. I was raped twice by two different girls. The first one was my dad's girlfriend. I was staying with my dad and his girlfriend when I was around 16 and one weekend he went away for the weekend. Well the moment he left his girlfriend tells me let's go. We go to the liquor store and she tells me to pick a bottle. I drank tequila every night with my dad so I thought nothing of it. I picked a bottle of absolute citreon and a six pack of beer. Well we start taking shots and before you know it the entire bottle is gone. I get and and throw up in the bathroom and stumble back to the couch and pass out. That's all I remember...... Until I wake up to her giving me a blowjob. I passed out again and she is riding me. I couldn't pass out after that so I pretended to sleep until she was done. The next morning I woke up ran in the shower and when I got out she was telling me about the great life we were gonna have. Well I played it off until my dad got back and told him everything. Shit blew up and I went back home with my mom and buried it in my head for 20 years.
Second time I was drinking with a bunch of friends and a friend who was staying with me was seeing this girl. Well the girl he was seeing had another girl who was sleeping at her house so I had to drive them all. The whole drive to my house this girl is saying she was gonna fuck me. I sorta laughed and said nahhh I'm good. You fucking with my other boy and I got a girl. Well she wouldn't take no for a answer. When we got to my house I told my friend not to leave us alone. As soon as I use the bathroom I get back to my room and this girl is naked in my bed. I go to leave the room and she runs over and closes the door and litterally pushes me onto a chair. I get a flashback of the first time and I freeze. I let her do her thing and I went to bed.
I never told anyone and my girlfriend at the time ended up being my wife. She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her. It was like a huge wieght off my chest. I still never drink around females unless my wife is around and I have a hard time looking females in the face when I talk to them. It really fucked me up. If I have 1 drop of alcohol my dick is dead to the world. I get such bad anxiety and the occasional flashback.