"Fantasy Football for people who like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter"
>You guys. I was, in fact, a party girl. But in this case party referred to me being an elven assassin in league with two dwarven kings and a half orc monk who was bffs with mother fuckin Bahamut.
This was just a great line right here. I kind of imagined you saying it on the stand in a courtroom, it just added to it.
In all seriousness, a t-shirt that says "Party Girl" with the outlines of D&D characters on it is a merchandising opportunity.
Wait, you're saying that were not supposed to go out and kill people? So I've been playing wrong all this time?!?
You may have got better terms if you convinced the lawyer you were part of an evil cult... - professional courtesy and all that. (ex lawyer)
OMG lady, I feel you. I too engaged in a painful, drawn-out custody battle with an abusive ex-husband, and here are the things I had to prove to my lawyer based on bullshit my ex said about me:
1) That knitting is not an addiction, and that in no way have I been such a voracious knitter that my children have gone unfed or unwashed.
2) That the fan fiction I wrote BEFORE HE AND I HAD GOTTEN MARRIED TEN YEARS PRIOR was not erotic in any way (I had to send her copies where I could find them).
3) That my close friend who lived on the other side of the world was not my secret boyfriend (I had to send her conversations he and I had had about his girlfriend).
4) That my interest in video games was comparatively casual and did not in any way demonstrate an unwillingness to be irresponsible with money (I had to send her bank records with all video game purchases highlighted).
5) That posting memes on Facebook was not “code” for my supposed lying, cheating, betraying ways.
Lawyers have to know every damn thing because they don’t want to be surprised. She clearly knows jack about D&D and has to assume the judge doesn’t either, meaning she has to reassure the judge that you are not in a devil-worshipping cult. 😂
Like anyone needs a 20-sided die to worship Satan.
> We got a ride from our DMs Dad like we were 14.
The rest of your story aside, I find this detail adorable \^\^.
Weird. In my experience, lawyers make EXCELLENT D&D players. Same with Magic the Gathering, it's a rules game, and lawyers love rules.
I hope your lawyer asks equally absurd questions regarding your ex's video gaming. "You play a lot of first person shooters. How do I know you're not out actually killing others?"
The only murdering I do at D&D is brutally wiping out my PCs' dreams.
This is why when I discuss playing with anyone I don't know well enough I just say "I am playing board games".