When I saw the title "sex joke (long)" I was expecting it to just say "my dick".
We have different definitions of 'long'.
Seems like they both got charged for a ride.
Anybody wanna give me a TLDR? I couldnt make it all the way through this novel.
Plot twist: OP is actually a comedian and now we all owe him for the joke
If OP thinks this is long, his wife must be super disappointed.