I ran into my ex, the other day.
She was still moving, so I backed up and hit her again.
Reminds me of the old joke:
A wife is packing her bags.
Husband: Are you going somewhere?
Wife: I'm leaving you and going to Vegas.
Husband: Why would you do a thing like that?
Wife: I found out they'll pay me $200 for what I give you for free.
The husband then pulls out a suitcase and starts packing his things too.
Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: I'm going too. I want to see how you plan to live on $400 a year.
"You're never going to find someone like me!"
"Ummm, that's the point."
For some reason that last line went into my head in Dr. Zoidberg's voice
(\\/) (°,,°) (\\/)
If I were your wife, I'd poison your food.
If I were your husband, I'd eat it.
I just heard this joke on my local radio station. I'm sorry to say they didn't credit you u/GonzoVertias
You're the type of person who deserves a dog's love.
Thought it was /r/legaladvice for a sec