Score
Title
320
Subreddit Of The Month [September 2017]: /r/onionheadlines. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!
24853
My daughter is fighting the man with dignity and grace... I've never been more proud.
74890
The local newspaper is kinda famous for its headlines
1676
Hello!
16047
Nice Job!
40344
Someone left their phone in a Little Caesar's and found this on their iCloud
52590
American problems...
58974
Slinkies make the best anti-squirrel security devices
24827
the good old times
2563
This is my license plate. Thought some of you would like it.
768
Well shit.
3767
Perfect execution.
2059
Super punch
16680
Little girl, big coat
1481
Today I watched the sun rise at the South Pole.
1117
My dog looks like Shelley Duvall.
363
Concentrate on a different person every loop
5585
It's not just any biscuit....
615
Cremated
3640
Tinder date triangle
4128
Godammit
700
Smarties
2426
Strength in numbers?
2088
dog.exe has encountered stairs
159
"Moved house, dog has never seen stairs before"
3025
Karl Pilkington
1070
A gentle reminder that you are disposable
5420
And I wasn't even drunk yet
387
hello yes hi, I am borns now
278
I'm a traditional guy. I'll do it my way.
287
Turning white girl problems into solutions.
82
Pup interrupts soccer match, gives interview
539
Engineers and spellings...
969
Spoiled Intimate Moment
230
The resemblance is uncanny.
11508
This accident is brought to you by...
1714
Adulting Level: Pro
1521
Instructions on box were not clear
3624
Instructions Were Unclear
198
Leo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp celebrate National Cheeseburger Day
91
Something doesn't add up ...
224 Easytype I think that pretty much confirms it.
137 Fourzerotwo2 That means you're 2 in a 2 million
34 liarandathief Even one in a million means there are 8000 others.
15 AluminumKnuckles It never said the fortune is one in a million, only you.
16 MLieBennett Just got to collect the other 999,998 other fortune cookies with the exact same message. Still... What a horrible fortune cookie message to get even once. You could put almost anything at the end to that one. Good or bad. "You are one in a million"... Who thought that was actually chicken.
7 MelloDeath You are one in a million
11 KeMiGle If probability and statistics class taught me anything, it's that the odds of this are one in one trillion.
4 fulendulop But really you're one in 7.442 billion
4 blackdragonsbreath It's no less true just because you're told more than once.
5 god_sidge You're still two in seven thousand though!
2 A40 Don't worry. Be happy.
2 Ninjanautsi Not sure if confirms doubts or proves otherwise...
2 badgeringthewitness Even people who are one in a million need to be reminded of this from time to time.
2 Newbiebutcool The fortune is basically saying that there are one million little papers with that same fortune. 999,998 more to go.
2 Tylerds68 There are about 7.4 billion people on earth. so being one in a million means there are 7,400 people just like you, you basic bitch.
2 CatpainLeghatsenia Now open the next one and if it says "Dude, stop it and believe it already" you should start getting worried
2 Oncey My fortunes are usually scrunched up from being in a cookie for a while. Is there a special fortune cookie fortune iron?
2 SlobBarker one in 500,000 is still pretty good
1 MiMoJaMo I keep waiting for one of these fortune cookies to contain a hit of acid that has printed on it, "Live your fortune"
1 TrueFakeFacts ... in bed.
1 cilurnum r/nevertellmetheodds
1 EddieMcDowall Well considering there are 7 billion humans on Earth that's not very good news. That means there are another 7,000 replicas of you out there somewhere!
1 bblewan The chances of the fortune being different is one in a million. I think that's what they meant
1 Hectate Must have been a typo; should have said "one OF a million" instead.