Score
Title
10283
Finally redone correctly.
73887
I knew something seemed off
4658
Found out who the local drug dealer is...
3413
Apparently I'm late for an important meeting with my cat
12823
Got a new t-shirt yesterday.
10112
After a 12 inch snowstorm someone sculpted a car in the snow.
1546
First day of College, I think I like this class.
5584
Local donut place making light of our nation's current trend
2289
Just a simple spell
1938
civil engineer who always wanted to be a network engineer
1401
Me on Valentine's day
8962
Our teacher was struggling to find where her pdf is every time. So we made this.
2151
An attempt was made
2295
To Cool For Cat School
627
Broken Hart
2858
Just keep walking son. Don't make eye contact
1059
Love these animals
1588
Beware of Doggos!!
2990
"Can I just once..."
1829
Texas is HUGE!
651
This kid forgets he has legs
1545
Forget about tide pods , cotton candy is the new thing ! ( it’s free )
12981
Do not go gentle into that good night
233
1 Man 1 Treadmill
510
My friend tried to take a picture of her ice cream
491
What....what year is it?
1569
Loading 95%
964
Girl attempts a blowjob
436
Finland, the land of social anxiety
1493
Take your kid to work day
170
Hey, you have some di-mpph.
155
Funny funny
86
It snowed today in South Carolina. My Papa made a snowman!
85
This meat tray looks like a image of space
493
They asked us to send a picture OF our desired ice cream cake, what we got was the picture ON a cake. My daughter's birthday has gone meta.
87
Great. I'm gonna be here all day.
133
Cat.exe has stopped working.
451
Designated Doggo
1294
When you visit a pet adoption centre
11220
Oh Texas...
715 Jane_Wick My parents would have lost their shit laughing at that. That's awesome. Props.
279 natilos Had this kid in my class named Benjamin. Started calling himself BJ when it was cool to shorten your name ie MJ TJ CJ etc. So we all played along. 4 years later he started asking to be called Benjamin again. 😂
160 jed313 My ex-wife and I were beginning the process to try to artificially conceive, so I went to the urologist to see if I have what’s called “retrograde ejaculation,” where the semen goes into the bladder rather than out. So I had to go into the bathroom, whack off, then pee into a cup immediately so they could test it to see if there was any sperm. I did this, then went into my exam room to wait for the doc. The medical technician comes in to take my vitals, so did the pulse check, the blood pressure check...got a concerned look, and did them both again. She said, “Wow, your heart rate is really elevated, and your blood pressure is high.” I had to pause for a moment to think about how to phrase it, so I ended up just saying, “You know why I’m in here today, right?” She was slightly embarrassed after I explained why my vitals were askew.
414 Annihilator257 HAHAHA that’s brilliant! :P
69 R9J4B I really hope he was loudly pissing himself laughing while everyone else was mortified, that's the way a good dinner joke should be!
48 VGooseV Hes got the dad jokes ready and waiting lol
13 General_Disarray2 I'm just going through the thread for your responses to get more of his jokes. This guy is a genius
50 KatyCowbelter So Benjamin it is. Congratulations!
45 Stuewe This is the most genuinely funny thing I've seen in /r/funny in a very long time. Thanks for posting it.
7 BrokenSpectr Sounds like your husband has a normal sense of humour.
7 MineDogger Your husband is hilarious. Your parents... Less so.
11 Sulde Well, you didn't get it but your mom made the joke here. I bet after saying it means "Son of my right hand" she was like https://i.imgur.com/77cdpTL.gif
715 0 Jane_Wick My parents would have lost their shit laughing at that. That's awesome. Props.
274 0 natilos Had this kid in my class named Benjamin. Started calling himself BJ when it was cool to shorten your name ie MJ TJ CJ etc. So we all played along. 4 years later he started asking to be called Benjamin again. 😂
157 0 jed313 My ex-wife and I were beginning the process to try to artificially conceive, so I went to the urologist to see if I have what’s called “retrograde ejaculation,” where the semen goes into the bladder rather than out. So I had to go into the bathroom, whack off, then pee into a cup immediately so they could test it to see if there was any sperm. I did this, then went into my exam room to wait for the doc. The medical technician comes in to take my vitals, so did the pulse check, the blood pressure check...got a concerned look, and did them both again. She said, “Wow, your heart rate is really elevated, and your blood pressure is high.” I had to pause for a moment to think about how to phrase it, so I ended up just saying, “You know why I’m in here today, right?” She was slightly embarrassed after I explained why my vitals were askew.
415 0 Annihilator257 HAHAHA that’s brilliant! :P
69 0 R9J4B I really hope he was loudly pissing himself laughing while everyone else was mortified, that's the way a good dinner joke should be!
52 0 VGooseV Hes got the dad jokes ready and waiting lol
13 0 General_Disarray2 I'm just going through the thread for your responses to get more of his jokes. This guy is a genius
51 0 KatyCowbelter So Benjamin it is. Congratulations!
41 0 Stuewe This is the most genuinely funny thing I've seen in /r/funny in a very long time. Thanks for posting it.
7 0 BrokenSpectr Sounds like your husband has a normal sense of humour.
7 0 MineDogger Your husband is hilarious. Your parents... Less so.
11 0 Sulde Well, you didn't get it but your mom made the joke here. I bet after saying it means "Son of my right hand" she was like https://i.imgur.com/77cdpTL.gif