Title should read 'The Onion Reviews *Twin Peaks: The Return*'.
This review had me leagues more entertained than this vapid franchise ever could
film standard has been hitting it out of the park lately... spider-man as a modern day lolita, star wars as a glimpse into the kingdom of heaven, coco being ruined by the main character not investigating the death of natalie wood upon arriving in the afterlife, and now this one.
Wow, that review had more plot than three movies with a combined budget of $150 million.
I saw this movie last night with my GF as her V-Day request. It being "Cheap Tuesday" and having used a gift card I wasn't too upset with going. It was for her, and spending time with her is all that mattered to me. Plus I got to make silly faces and make fun of the movie the whole time so it was sort of a win-win in a small way.
As a man I walked away from the movie knowing I must do the following to attract a woman...
* Be super rich
* Somehow have a job that allows me to be super rich but also spend nearly no time actually working so that I can travel the world with my lover
* Be able to play the piano AND sing well
* Be extremely fit
I totally understand why women get wet over this type of garbage... that said I can't help but feel movies like this are partly responsible for some women feeling entitled to that perfect rich guy of their dreams and not settling for less.
I'm not going to spoil the movie... but I will say the main girl in the movie made for a pretty terrible wife sometimes.
*PS. My GF actually admitted the movie was pretty terrible once the credits began rolling. She insisted the first two were better but I can't comment since I've never seen them and never plan to.*
Felt like I was watching an adult swim infomercial.
Exactly why I never became a film critic... I mean look at what it did to Ebert. :\
Lmao that was great. Are there any non-horror films like this video? (I'm a giant pussy but that was really uniquely entertaining to me)