I just went to a conference on neurobiology and the impact of stress. It was fascinating. A lot of it was over my head but the stuff I held on to was really informative. Check out Gabor Mate, specifically his book about the impact of stress. I haven't read it (yet), however he spoke about intergenerational stress and how easily parents will pass their stress on to their own children. Deal with your stress before it becomes someone else's!
I'm a Chef and when I was first starting cooking my Chef taught me to always respect and treat everyone on staff extremely well because we all will be going through strains together. From the dishwasher to the servers it would echo if someone was prickly. Soon we went through staff over the years and he was right. It's not that you become stressed with them, you become stressed about not wanting to stress them. It cascade's in the work world but is magnified in a kitchen.
I'm a teacher, and we just learned about this in a professional development session a few weeks ago--specifically how students' trauma can translate into trauma for teachers. We were told that the specific research isn't there, but there's reason to believe that teachers, particularly those in low income communities, are at increased risk for divorce and dementia because of that "secondhand trauma."
My spouse and I were both raised in homes with high stress and unfortunately, we raised our kids in pretty much the same kind of household. We didn't repeat our parents mistakes, but we made plenty of our own... When our youngest child was diagnosed with not one, but 2 brain disorders during grade school it changed our lives and for the better. An intelligent psychologist helped teach our son to think differently when he became iverwhelmed with anxiety. Attending sessions with him educated his parents on how to better cope with stressful events and out of control thoughts. The abilty to change how we think through unexpected difficulty has been a game changer. I just wish we had acqiured this skill prior to having children. As it is, we use the knowledge we have gained to educate or grown children as they work through stressful circumstances.
It's not that things don't upset you, it's controling how you think about it. You choose whether or not you will allow yourself to get sucked into an unhealthy pattern of thought.
This paper is clearly impactful; however, it is important to note that this paper shows that rodents are able to socially transmit the synaptic effects of stress *likely* by pheromones - a feature that is not translated to humans. Nevertheless, similar processes are likely inherent to humans and it’ll be fascinating to see how this line of research evolves in the future.
Edit: “likely shows”
its called empathy, did they try it with sociopaths